Intimacy, Sex and Weird: Roll with it

Roll with it

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 05:00 - United States - Ballwin

Today, my new girlfriend and I finally did the deed. I also realized today that I have a strange kink. An outie belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 281

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Same thing different taste

By coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 961

You deserved it 4 467

Genetics

By outie - 13/09/2020 02:02

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 199

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 582

You deserved it 6 964

Belly bounce

By Anonymous - 27/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I learned that a innie belly button does not clean itself. I can't begin to describe the horrors I found, after using tweezers to get thirty years worth of "contents" out from inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 513

Thorough check

By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 23:34 - United States - Akron

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 868

You deserved it 24 000

TMI

By Disgusted - 05/07/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 030

You deserved it 3 803

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 798

You deserved it 8 527

What's wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 06/10/2010 08:30 - Netherlands

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 910

You deserved it 3 787

By B'Dawk - 14/10/2018 13:30

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 727

You deserved it 1 707

By moerae - 03/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 945

You deserved it 645

Studious_Gluteus 19

Sunday 2 July 2023 22:49

I don't understand. What's the problem here?

poopface82 23

Sunday 2 July 2023 13:51

You like what you like. Just be glad it’s an outie belly button and not some bizarre fetish shit.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 2 July 2023 13:32

It probably means you secretly want dick. It's ok -- things have been getting better for you people lately.

poopface82 23

Sunday 2 July 2023 13:51

You like what you like. Just be glad it’s an outie belly button and not some bizarre fetish shit.

Studious_Gluteus 19

Sunday 2 July 2023 22:49

I don't understand. What's the problem here?

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Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 417

You deserved it 6 027

Today, I have a gigantic zit inside my left nostril. Good news: no one can see it and no need for makeup on it. Bad news: my nose really itches, and I constantly feel like I'm about to sneeze it out like a foreign object. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 702

You deserved it 444

Today, I was house-hunting online. I was becoming increasingly discouraged and began to look for mini-houses in absurd desperation. I noticed the Google sidebar advertising a cute mini house within my budget. Excited, I clicked on the ad - only to discover it was an ad for a child's playhouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 551

You deserved it 1 479

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 497

You deserved it 4 352

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 140

Today, my ex-wife has teamed up with my ex-girlfriend. Both are mentally ill. I have to have another custody fight and dispel lies because of their delusions. I just want to be left in peace. Instead, I have to have a death match for my 6 year-old daughter. Why does it have to be her or me? Why can’t it be both? FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 190