Health, Students Scary Paranoid

Paranoid

rockefoe - - United States

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

I prefer my mysteries solved, thank you

Pauly - 21/12/2024 15:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the source of the "mystery whistling" I’ve been hearing in my house for days was my own nose. Apparently, I’ve got a built-in wind instrument. FML

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Snug as a bug…

Anonymous - 02/10/2019 02:01

Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML

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That's a great look!

MissQ - 20/06/2020 17:01

Today, I was trying to learn how to whistle. On the elevator ride up to my room, I was experimenting with tongue placement and mouth position. At the height of my facial contortions and probable spitting, the elevator doors opened to reveal the guy I've been crushing. FML

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Late night

Ring a ding ding - 15/10/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, because my room was cold as ice, I couldn't sleep in there, so I went to my living room. It was at that moment that I realized just how bad my tinnitus is when I don't have my fan or any other form of constant noise to drown it out. I couldn't stop focusing on it, so I remained awake all night. FML

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Anonymous - 05/06/2017 22:00

Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML

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woof? - 19/04/2015 17:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

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Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

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Creepy Crawly

chelseasdead - 04/07/2021 06:01

Today, I was smoking a cigarette outside and kept thinking I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I would look and there was nothing there, so I kept brushing it off. Finally I figured out it was an earwig crawling through my hair. FML

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Could you stop doing that, please?

Scabs - 09/08/2010 16:54 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

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DIY

Jezza - 02/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML

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marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:09

hahah hate it when that happens :)

dacho 7

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:12

lol, happens to me sometimes xD Except I figure it out rather quickly, when it starts to follow me around xD

bliep 0

Friday 16 July 2010 22:50

that happens to you too? D:

Bahree 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 5:30

xD Oh God that must suck.

eminemXshady 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 7:11

It's better than dick whistling

garble0218 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:31

when that happens you can usually feel something in your nose that's causing the whistle. I hate when that happens

rabbitsarecutexx 3

Tuesday 22 March 2011 7:18

That always happens to me xD

rabbitsarecutexx 3

Tuesday 22 March 2011 7:18

That always happens to me xD

sykokitti 15

Monday 28 March 2011 0:50

that's happened to everyone I know... #4 what planet did you come from?

ShAdow7mcNugGet 7

Wednesday 9 November 2011 2:29

How the **** does that go unnoticed?!?

1Dfangirl 21

Monday 22 July 2013 18:09

Lol this happens to me all the time

guttedbrit 26

Tuesday 8 October 2013 19:57

Funnily enough I can relate to this a lot! Haha

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I thought my face was breaking out with pimples, and I thought it was weird because I never break out. And I noticed all these "bug bites" all over my body. When I got home, I realized those weren't bug bites. I have chicken pox, and my high school graduation is tomorrow. FML

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Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML

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Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML

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Today, I tried to sneak out of a family gathering without anyone noticing. As I tiptoed toward the door, I stepped on my aunt's prized chihuahua's squeaky toy. The entire house went silent as it squeaked at quite the volume, and everyone turned to stare at me. My "escape" turned into the most dramatic exit of my life. FML

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Today, while working, I saw a man napping under a tree. He was still there 3 hours later. Turns out he was dead. FML

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Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

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