Nobody wants to dance with me By Lewis - 24/01/2019 00:30 I really don't understand why... I agree, your life sucks 254 You deserved it 136 Share Tweet Share
Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 353 You deserved it 19 860
Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 444 You deserved it 154 602
Today, I accompanied some friends to sign up for a gym. When we got there, the guy handed me a form, too. I said, "Oh, I'm not signing up." He replied, "Out of all of you, you need it the most." He then said he was also a nutritionist, and offered a consultation. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 874 You deserved it 11 144
Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 685 You deserved it 39 667
Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML I agree, your life sucks 927 You deserved it 474
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML I agree, your life sucks 66 755 You deserved it 3 985
That's the best dance ever 😍
Fierce! rawrrr!