Sex, Awkward Intimacy Kiss from a rose

Kiss from a rose

sealy - 28/12/2010 07:44 - United States

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

crier - 27/08/2013 18:34 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

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shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

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Honky

Anonymous - - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

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Ugh - 13/09/2015 06:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML

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Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

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It's all too much

toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

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laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

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I'm coming!

anonymous - 24/02/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

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Breaking

Kev - 23/08/2023 06:00 - Ireland

Today, I was giving a presentation when my voice cracked like a teenage boy going through puberty. The audience giggled every time it happened. FML

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screamer - 02/09/2012 06:41 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

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xFalzz 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:12

Oh yeah, yeah, yeaaaa- ARF ARF ARF ARF *begins to clap hands violently*

BelleElle_fml 5

Tuesday 28 December 2010 13:51

Did anyone else reinact this in their heads?

sweet_candy_ 17

Wednesday 29 December 2010 6:22

Could you balance a beach ball on your nose?

eduardosuritalov 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 6:29

win :p

Oregonducks17 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 8:07

I dont belive you. Will you show me?

marceil 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:04

wild girl

samantha_142 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 18:24

not everyone sounds like a pornstar. but that sucks for you! haha

ollie179 21

Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:33

how is tht an fml? :/

mbe0027 5

Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:53

If you sound like a Seal, then clearly your boyfriend needs to sound like Heidi Klum. It's only fair. ;-)

cincink2277 0

Friday 31 December 2010 4:39

shit i wish i sounded that good lol and jk i dont sound

Classicchick 0

Friday 31 December 2010 9:36

That's sad.

DJDoomCookie13 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 2:01

Apparently my cousin sounded like Darth Vader when she lost her virginity...

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML

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Today, I lost my diary. The diary in which I write all my appointments/chores/grocery lists, etc. It includes "Wash last week's underwear", "Batteries for vibrator" and "Diarrhea meds". I'm 99% sure I lost it in one of my classes. I'm dreading going to college tomorrow. FML

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Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

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Today, I was the only sober person at a bonfire. After being hit in the eye with a snowball, taking people's keys away because they were too wasted to drive, making sure no one died and stabbing the bottom of my foot with a nail, I got to sleep in the snow. Without any blankets. FML

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Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

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Today, it's been a few days since I decided to give this girl I like the silent treatment. I've been messaging off and on with her for a few weeks, but decided to stop for a bit, just to seem mysterious. When I logged on Facebook today, her status was, "So happy that annoying guy has stopped writing to me!" FML

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