Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 454 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 798 You deserved it 68 207
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 211 You deserved it 2 411
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 590 You deserved it 3 445
Today, my fiancé accused me of cheating and broke up with me. I texted his best friend, who I've never talked to before, to see if he could talk some sense into my ex. Turns out he has several fiancées and was cheating on me since day one. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 622 You deserved it 262
Today, I made the horrible mistake of leaving my car windows cracked while at work. Not only is the exterior yellow due to the pollen, but so is the interior. I'm not allergic, but you can feel the pollen in the back of your throat. FML I agree, your life sucks 806 You deserved it 290
Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML I agree, your life sucks 51 327 You deserved it 3 433
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?