Health, Relatable Awkward I can't get you out of my head

I can't get you out of my head

Anonymous - 18/12/2022 09:00 - Portugal

Today, it's been a week since I realized how much work the tongue actually does during eating. It pushes food around the mouth to my teeth like a little slug. I've been so conscious of it, I haven't enjoyed eating since. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Once bitten…

Ben Moy - 02/02/2021 07:57 - United States - Wallingford

Today, after worrying for years about grinding my teeth after various dentists mentioned seeing evidence. Apparently, this worry manifested as subconsciously putting my tongue in the way at night, to the point where I have an open bite at 39 when I never had a problem before. I can't bite through sushi or sandwiches. FML

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Anonymous - 11/01/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

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Good or bad?

Tooth Hurty - 06/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, after reading an FML about a user whose sensitive teeth have a "good" and "bad" side for chewing, I noticed that I've apparently developed a "good" and "bad" chewing side as well. I'd never noticed it until that moment, and now it's almost debilitating. FML

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Clogged

ISmellBread - 15/12/2023 05:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

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lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

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numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

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bucktooth - 26/04/2012 23:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

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What am I doing?

janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

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bobby - 12/06/2010 22:13 - United States

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

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Numb

A.J. - 13/04/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML

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Nikki 17

Sunday 18 December 2022 23:09

Thanks for sharing

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 20 December 2022 3:26

Tongue Slug sounds like an excellent name for a rock band.

Nikki 17

Sunday 18 December 2022 23:09

Thanks for sharing

cacheson 41

Monday 19 December 2022 4:24

Who else is now hyper focused on their tongue slug?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 19 December 2022 5:36

That's so dumb. Why doesn't your tongue shrivel up when you eat salty food? Huh?

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 20 December 2022 3:26

Tongue Slug sounds like an excellent name for a rock band.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, when he came back to bed, I asked my flatmate who I've been sleeping since the start of lockdown, whether he had washed his hands after going to pee. He said he barely touched his dick, so he didn't need to. He likes putting his fingers in my mouth when we have sex. FML

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Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML

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Today, during a school trip to Ireland, I tried taking a souvenir picture of a sheep wearing my sunglasses. So, if you ever see a sheep running past with sunglasses on, they're mine. FML

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Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

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Today, my husband is so antisocial that when our cul-de-sac held a street party, he threw a half empty Pepsi out of our bedroom window to make us stop playing music. It hit our local vicar. When I demanded he apologise, he just shouted, "Cobblers to the lot of you", and shut the window. FML

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Today, I found out that I'm not getting a new position I applied for at my company. Now, I have to continue working for my boss, who recently severely criticized my spelling in my reports, only they weren't my reports, and when I pointed this out, she simply never responded. FML

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