Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: Humpty Dumpy

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 462

You deserved it 9 421

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Same thing different taste

Rememberance Day special

By Crappy circumstances - 11/11/2025 12:00

Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 89

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 23:00 - Australia

Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 86

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 965

You deserved it 368

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 272

You deserved it 4 972

HELP!

By SeatofIgnorance - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 5 464

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 791

You deserved it 6 766

Leftovers

By Well Shit - 16/08/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, I had a really big, satisfying shit in the loo of a pub several miles from home. After getting back to my table, my stomach rumbled, and, assuming it was just gas, I let it go. What followed was approximately a litre of brown water, soaking my underwear, jeans, and chair, and dribbling onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 439

Freakout

By Anonymous - 20/03/2015 16:56 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 415

You deserved it 3 662

Help!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 06:56 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 422

You deserved it 8 104

mea_iloveskiing 26

Sunday 13 April 2014 1:38

Sounds so dramatic

Indianboy9321 25

Sunday 13 April 2014 1:40

Lock the door when you...ahem...produce stool.

Comments

crushsteffy 1

Sunday 13 April 2014 6:58

This made my day- I laughed so hard! Thanks lol

SandpitNinja 10

Sunday 13 April 2014 7:18

Plot twist, It's Bono

blurider17 11

Sunday 13 April 2014 8:50

Ohh shit!:0 that's crazy!

imshadyxo 25

Sunday 13 April 2014 9:01

Some of you people act like girls don't shit too..

tayytayy731 7

Sunday 13 April 2014 9:04

Be proud. Own your shit.

katties 27

Sunday 13 April 2014 10:43

Why don't you get up fro the toilet before you flush? YDI. Gross.

kingdomgirl94 29

Sunday 13 April 2014 14:55

Reading comprehension fail.

toelie 26

Sunday 13 April 2014 11:27

How wide exactly is your bumhole, for you to get an enema from a splash?

WeskersSexslave 15

Sunday 13 April 2014 11:31

So water was the only thing that has gone up there?

wannabeactress71 8

Sunday 13 April 2014 11:32

I hope I'm comfortable enough with my husband for that lol. Okay I understand you getting grossed out and a small jump but not screaming and getting off..