Budget Spa By FML Approved - 25/10/2017 20:30 Who else is ready to take a personal day with this dog? I agree, your life sucks 506 You deserved it 120 Share Tweet Share
Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 261 You deserved it 1 993
Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML I agree, your life sucks 36 555 You deserved it 3 720
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 707 You deserved it 3 572
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 764 You deserved it 20 179
Today, I found out I have oral and genital herpes as well as genital warts. I'm a 15-year-old virgin. I don't know how this happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 516 You deserved it 458
Today, I attempted to fix the annoying squeak my office chair has been making with WD-40. I turned it upside down, but misjudged the intensity of the spray, spraying it on my laptop keyboard. Now my “S” key is smoother than ever, but I can’t type the word “stress” without it sounding like a snake. FML I agree, your life sucks 135 You deserved it 372
I see carrots. Is it a bath, or are they making a stew?
Ok... that is just too cute for words! :)