Health Bobs and vagene - FML

Bobs and vagene

analeis - 25/03/2012 18:04 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

17 960

29 690

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Kinky

LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

36 816

7 889

Queasy

ohdeardarling - 14/06/2009 13:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

13 825

60 642

kady - 04/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

34 955

6 644

KBL3 - 11/08/2010 09:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

32 274

14 995

Unfortunate - 27/12/2009 05:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

6 834

45 470

Party animal

Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

36 957

23 233

Toomuchisoutofcontrol - 21/01/2017 08:00

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML

6 622

1 024

hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

27 764

5 414

Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

53 351

19 301

Foxy - 05/02/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

70 369

26 890

dontfmlplzzz 6

Monday 26 March 2012 0:42

Everyone needs a soundtrack to puking

25shark 5

Monday 26 March 2012 0:42

Jingle all the way!

havocmike 3

Monday 26 March 2012 14:36

Keep drinking until he respects you...

chosha_fml 26

Monday 26 March 2012 14:44

Re-read your first sentence. YDI.

drcynic 4

Monday 26 March 2012 15:06

I have no sympathy for you or any other boozers. You drink too much you get what you deserve.

yourdevilmaybeme 0

Monday 26 March 2012 15:09

Just be glad he didn't take advantage of the doggy style position you were in!

JadeWalker 14

Monday 26 March 2012 15:13

Know your limits idiot. YDI

wittygirl 8

Monday 26 March 2012 15:35

I got a boyfriend whose pulled something similar. Just threaten no sex. Fixes this retarded rude behavior fast

j_cat187 19

Monday 26 March 2012 16:35

At least he didn't stick you with his willy.

jiralmancer 5

Monday 26 March 2012 19:23

It was to make you feel better. Like a soft kitty song.

BunBunBabe 8

Monday 26 March 2012 19:28

This sounds exactlyyyy like my boyfriend. :/

wongalicious 0

Monday 26 March 2012 19:52

Wow... That sounds like something my bf would do lol!!

7
8
9
10
11
12

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

38 068

3 643

Today, my wife told me she is no longer sexually attracted to me. She also can’t understand why I still don’t want to go on her 35th birthday trip to London. FML

1 223

210

Today, after my relationship ended in a shambles, my partner finally moved out and we were broken up, now, just as I started talking to others and feeling OK with being alone, she revealed that the break was temporary and that she has to move back in temporarily. FML

239

266

Today, it's been almost two weeks since any of my relatives have talked to me. They are still mad because I didn't go on a Labor Day trip with them and I've found out why. Apparently, they had plans for me to babysit my younger cousins any time they wanted to do something fun. FML

13 931

792

Today, I took my sister to the airport, after she asked me to a week ago. Five minutes into the ride, she told me she wasn’t going to the one 20 minutes away, but the one an hour away instead and gave me no gas money. FM

921

179

Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML

12 407

881