Bad hair day By Faithy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 918 You deserved it 49 032 Share Tweet Share
Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 083 You deserved it 4 858
Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 809 You deserved it 8 917
Today, I found a massive tick on my boyfriend's ballsack. I found it with my tongue. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 485 You deserved it 229
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 222 You deserved it 450
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 531 You deserved it 6 182
Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 275 You deserved it 65 703
dumbass.
you spelled blonde wrong :)