Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
Today, I got called a cunt at work by a customer. What could I have said that could have caused them to say that? "Have a great day." FML
Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML
Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfather's funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML
Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML
What an a-hole.
I would have quit too :/