Embarrassing, Sleep, Dreams Cute Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

MadMax - 16/07/2009 14:59 - United States

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Night terror

Freaked OUT - 06/09/2025 03:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I woke up to my roommate screaming. Turns out, I had sleepwalked into her bed during the night. I don’t remember anything, but apparently I told her, “Shhh, don’t mention the ducks” before laying down next to her and fell asleep. FML

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Truth

Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

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Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

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Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

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OPforonepiece - 19/02/2016 14:38 - Netherlands - Delft

Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML

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Lonely, so lonely

Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

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Anonymous - 13/05/2013 22:05 - United States - Kapolei

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

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niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

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Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

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Freaked out

ADanceWithDavos - 07/07/2014 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

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redbluegreen 40

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:13

You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.

montgomery634 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:02

hahaha that's really funny

hrshykiss815 0

Friday 4 June 2010 3:45

that's hilarious!! :D

Allielovespanda 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 6:31

this isn't an fml. it's just hilarious.

ermkrmr 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 7:55

sounds just like me... maybe were long lost siblings? haha

Misschief 2

Saturday 7 May 2011 0:26

I feel stupid but I really dont get this at all.

briissocoollike 8

Wednesday 14 September 2011 1:26

LMFAO

TigerSpots 4

Monday 31 October 2011 4:18

I think that's something you and your roomy could laugh at and have fun with, make the best of it bro

linarahmany 6

Sunday 1 April 2012 19:57

my cousin started moaning "bluberry pie" in her sleep once I'm just like O.O

sueki 5

Monday 28 May 2012 0:39

lmao... imagination much

jessicariley 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 6:56

That's hawt.

B5B0N35 18

Saturday 3 November 2012 22:31

Quack quack can u pass the sugar cubes

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to the courthouse to apply for my marriage license and had my mother tag along with me. When I asked one of five security guards where to go, my mom looked at him and said,"You’re suppose to talk her out of it." Thanks, Mom. FML

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Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

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Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

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Today, I had a Zoom interview. My chair decided to break from under me. CRACK! One leg broke. I tried to compose myself and played it off. CRACK! The second leg gave out and I couldn't hold myself up anymore and fell down with it. The interviewer promptly stopped the interview and said, "We’ll be in touch." FML

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Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML

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Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

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