Suspicious

Sussy Baka

By Yasmine - 24/12/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 240

By gnownayrgnow - 08/05/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 904

You deserved it 5 689

Oddly suspicious

By Brittany - 17/04/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 94

Kinda sus

By Unreasonable - 12/02/2023 00:00

Today, my husband referred to me as his “roommate” when I came home from work and saw his female coworker here for a visit. The one he has “work conversations” with at 11 pm. I've talked to him about it and he tells me I’m being paranoid and unreasonable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 167

Bad sign

By Filing for divorce - 27/11/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 102

By Anonymous - 14/04/2015 07:21 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 844

You deserved it 4 455

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 23:01

Today, just like every morning, I had to make myself throw up all the acid in my stomach just to make room for a little bit of food. No doctor can fix my problem, and my family still thinks I’m doing it to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 152

No stars on Trip Advisor

By Anonymous - 02/03/2023 11:00 - United States - Ingleside

Today, I paid for my man to get a massage while we were on vacation. The hour passes and he wasn't answering his phone or texts. I go to the room and he’s just getting out of the shower. I come to find out she is high on ketamine, and he said they kissed. He still denies it. This is what I get for getting him a massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 232

Sussy

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 07:30

Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 292

One track mind

By Old enough - 04/10/2023 06:00

Today, my mom won’t let me go to my boyfriend’s apartment. She says it’s because “I know what you guys are gonna do there I’m not stupid.” She threatened to kick me out of the house if I go. I’m 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 357

Kinda sussy

By LookingForAJob - 21/05/2022 18:00

Today, I slept through my alarm and got fired for being late for work. My husband had changed my alarm to go off at 8:00PM instead of 8:00AM all because apparently, I was suspected of “conspiracy to cheat” by liking a male friend’s selfie on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 102

You deserved it 262

Kinda sussy

By Rosebud - 07/08/2023 04:00 - United States - Flint

Today, I “caught” my partner looking at porn, again. I walked in on him with his cock out, looking at his phone. He jumped to put it away, except just like last time, I told him we could watch together, but he's “too ashamed” to even discuss it. At this point I’m pretty sure he’s just sexting someone else and doesn’t want to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 187

Do you guys even talk to one another?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 122

Deflexion

By Rach - 07/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I grabbed my husband’s phone to call my mom. The first thing I see is Google with searches like, “Hot young Latina singles dating” and a PornHub tab that had a “Petite Latina Teen” search. I’m white. When I asked my husband about it, he said his “buddy” hacked his internet, then angrily asked why I went through his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 360

Kinda sus, huh?

By Derek - 25/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, my best friend told me, "Dude, your girlfriend looks so much like this girl I went to high school with!" and showed me a picture of a girl with a string bikini in a semi-suggestive pose on the beach. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't my girlfriend. He HAD to choose the skimpiest photo to compare to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 146

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

By JustAJokeMan - 03/03/2023 06:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I realized how visibly upset my boyfriend got whenever a certain female friend leaves. When my other friend and I teased him about secretly being in love with her, he completely lost it. He threw a temper tantrum, spilled milkshake all over the floor, and stormed out of the mall. It was just a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 243

Sussy baka

By black hoodie - 19/05/2013 23:07 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 187

You deserved it 5 981

I can explain

By 1nn0cen7 1 sw3ar - 06/05/2022 14:00

Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 180

Still a suspect

By UsernameNotFound404 - 01/04/2025 00:00 - Czechia

Today, I woke up, made breakfast for myself, and read all the notifications on my smartphone. The first one was about an accidental death at work, and that all maintenance workers are suspects. I work in maintenance, and it's not my section where the accident happened. RIP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 58

McLovin

By Anonymous - 30/08/2022 22:00

Today, I was buying a specific expensive wine for my wife’s birthday, but the guy suspected I was buying it for some underage girl loitering outside, and threatened to call police. He’s a specialist wine merchant and the only guy I can buy that wine from in 100 miles. Her birthday is in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 141

Where's Shaggy when you need him?

By sickofthelies - 24/05/2023 06:00

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 199

Creeped out the full

By Anonymous - 21/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, after my wife’s father made a very weird joke the other day, and it completely bothered me and caused my anxiety to skyrocket, I asked her about it. She told me not to worry and that it’s just a joke. I’ve always suspected he views his daughter, my wife, sexually. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 126

By anon - 11/11/2015 03:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a notification from Tinder popped up on my girlfriend's phone, saying, "Congratulations, you have a new match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 807

You deserved it 2 375

This is fine

By Changing the locks tomorrow - 08/03/2023 06:00

Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 136

Kinda sus

By anonymous - 31/08/2023 08:00

Today, my overly friendly bubbly classmate, who’s like a preschool teacher hopped up on Red Bull, texted me, “Hey honey buns! Wanna meet up early before class and get groovin?!” My husband saw it and insisted that it's code for cheating. I'm not sure how I can explain that she’s just weird and wants to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 122

Tantrum

By Gloria - 25/06/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 222

Sneaking around

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 18:00 - United States - Elkton

Today, and as of late, my girlfriend of 6 months has been getting distant with me, but reassures me that she still loves me. I found out she was hanging out with her ex-girlfriend of two years. They even went out to dinner, and she didn't tell me. I was planning on taking her out tonight too, and I only found out because my friend ran into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 132

By everybodysfool - 24/12/2009 01:02 - United States

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of two years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I'm cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 135

You deserved it 4 299

Life insurance?

By Rusty - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - New City

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 653

You deserved it 2 794

Suspicious

By GabrielleB - 12/07/2023 06:00

Today, I confronted my 32 year-old boyfriend about texting his 17 year-old female coworker. He says they only talk about “work related things and video games” and not about “sex or anything.” What work related things could they be talking about all day and all night long? They work at Taco Bell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 212

FML on Facebook

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Kids Family Miscellaneous Friends Confused Toxic Love Pranks Scams Money Religion Cheating Parenting Dating NSFW Work Health Painful Cooking AITA Stalker My ex Coworkers Internet Relatable Pokémon Awkward Annoying Shopping Underwear

The Top

Today, I decided to be safe and tested a small dime-sized amount of Nair on my inner arm before using it. I didn't react badly. But as soon as it was washed off from my down-there hair I sure as hell reacted, with small bumpy red dots that look like an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 491

You deserved it 13 900

Today, I've recently been able to enjoy my life after a long depressing quarantine. I've been able to go to the gym and train in my favorite activity, boxing. Now I can't train for 2 weeks after having surgery on both my Achilles heel and PRP therapy. Hello again, misery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 220

Today, I talked to my husband about leaving his parents' house. He said, and I quote, ''No. I don't want the responsibility of paying bills.'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 665

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 350

You deserved it 34 841

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 776

You deserved it 2 732

Today, I broke my nose by falling on the cast I have on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 108