Parenting

That's not very pog

By Anonymous Dad - 02/02/2021 17:02

Today, my son and his friends were gaming in his room when I thought I'd use a word I recently discovered online. I said, "Hey, this is all very poggers." My son sighed and said, "How do you do, fellow kids?" I got Steve Buscemi-ed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 085

BEHAVE!

By Reeve of the Shires - 23/04/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son and I were arguing, and my wife yelled at us that the reason we don't get along is because we have identical personalities. She then kicked us out until we learn to get along, so we're sleeping in the freezing caravan, sharing a blanket that's only 6 feet wide and was last used for the cat to give birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 1 287

Mom of the year

By Ugly step father - 13/02/2023 15:00 - South Africa

Today, as it goes for the last 7 years, my step-daughter got her child grant and disappeared into her meth habit. Again. As per every month after being "clean" for a week. The child that "is over" drugs. The same child that calls us useless and losers. Guess who gets her child ready for school and takes her there? FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 163

Grumpy face

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 21:00

Today, my daughter confidently told me that I’m not allowed to ignore her when she’s sulking on purpose. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Clearly this child has spent too long listening to my ex-wife and her coven of brain-dead cackling witches, AKA her mother and aunties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 158

Great dad

By Anonymous - 28/06/2023 12:00

Today, I found out my son has not one, not two, but three children with various women. I confronted him about this and he truly doesn’t care. He has support payments he hasn’t paid in months, and he doesn’t even know his name of his youngest son, because he doesn’t care enough to remember it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 299

Great joke Dad, thanks

By Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 923

You deserved it 7 921

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 22/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my bitch mother informed me I have two weeks to find a new place to live. When I said she legally has to give me thirty days, she said she doesn’t because I refuse to pay rent as an adult. I have schizophrenia, obesity, and I’m not obligated to pay her rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 1 071

Hellworld

By I’m scared - 27/02/2022 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, after my mother, who was a loving and gentle soul, died, I’ve moved in permanently with my stepmom, whom I’d never met. Her very first words to me were, “Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am your mother now. If you make even ONE mistake, I will literally rip your fucking throat out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 113

No kidding

By Anonymous - 23/02/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my mom that having watched my sister ruin her life having kids who grew into brats with criminal records before their teens, I refused to ruin my life the same way and will be childless. I then turned to leave and they were in the doorway, my sister and her two brats. I got slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 405

Taking sides

By Anonymous - 14/01/2021 14:01

Today, after months of not wanting anything to do with her dad, my three-year-old was over her phase. During dinner, I play-shoved my husband and he did it back. Our daughter saw him and now keeps saying, "It’s not nice to push mommy." We’re back to square one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 291

Hang in there

By DryEyes - 27/12/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my son has a broken arm and is crying because he wants to take the cast off. As soon as he stops crying, my stepson starts crying because he wants a cast too. My wife is also crying, because she feels guilty that our son broke his arm. Six weeks until the cast comes off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 141

Call an exorcist

By mazz - 26/10/2021 04:59

Today, as usual, without fail, every time I wake up earlier than 10 AM, I vomit blood. No doctor can figure out why, and my parents think I'm lying, spoiled little princess who just wants to be lazy and sleep in every day. If I don’t wake up at 6 AM every day from now on, I’m grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 145

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 00:00

Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 1 095

Red pill dingus

By Anonymous - 10/06/2024 21:00

Today, my son is refusing to find a girlfriend because, as he puts it, “Them woke bitches just want my money.” He lives alone, has a good job and lots of friends, but he never asks anyone out, and when women ask him out, he practically hisses at them like a feral cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 599

That's just cruel

By forever dog-less - 22/12/2018 04:00

Today, my mom told me to go meet a rescue dog. After doing all my research and emailing shelters left and right, I finally got a call. It went well! Then, my mom told me it would never happen. I'm still expecting several emails from the shelters I contacted, so I get to relive this pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 333

You deserved it 206

Smoking is cool, and you know it

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 761

You deserved it 4 176

Parenting is sharing

By Stephanie - 12/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 335

Lovely, just lovely

By subhuman inbred - 08/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my mom called me a “subhuman inbred.” All because I was fidgeting during church without realizing I was doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 127

The struggle is real

By Momguilt - 06/09/2024 21:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, after I felt bad for living off food stamps and government assistance so I could be home with my kids after their dad died, I decided to go to school and get a career to support them. Now that I’m working, I feel bad for not having much time to spend with them. I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 138

Assumptions

By MommyIssues - 16/03/2022 07:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, my boyfriend said that the reason I crave affection so bad is because I’m an only child so I got “all my parents attention”. My mom worked nights my whole life and slept while I was home. I barely got 1-2 hours a week of her attention at the maximum and she usually used that time to read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 130

Make it make sense

By Gary - 14/02/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom - Alton

Today, my 3 year-old was trying to learn some simple spelling. She then proceeded to have an absolute meltdown because I said my name doesn’t have an ‘N’ in it. My name is Gary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 124

Just a prank, bro

By sarah - 28/03/2021 20:00

Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 176

Fatherhood

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 18:00

Today, and in the month since our son was born, my husband has lost interest in fatherhood entirely. This morning, our son had naptime in the kitchen, while he was also in the kitchen on a 2-hour work call, and according to him that was father-son bonding time just because they were in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 215

Quite reasonable

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my kids are mad I won’t let them hang out at the “cool” parents house. You know, the house with no rules. I’ve heard way too many horror stories, too many true crime documentaries, plus personal experience, to ever let that happen. I will never EVER trust adults that like to party with kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 136

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, my kid was lying on the floor in Morrisons screaming, no matter what I tried to do, until another mother came, picked him up, and dumped him in the trolley seat. She then looked me up and down and said, “Girl, he’s 4 years-old and 3 feet tall, grow some fucking backbone.” She was so right too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 1 742

Grateful

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 01:08 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 179

Mr Knowitall

By put your money where your milkmakers are - 28/02/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I got pissed after my boyfriend tried mansplaining breastfeeding to me. I’ve nursed two children of my own, stocked and sustained two big freezers full, and still had leftovers to donate to preemies. He tried saying pumping "doesn’t increase supply" and that I just “got lucky” making so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 176

Constant surveillance

By mister fixit? more like mister fuxit - 25/11/2024 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 271

Great advice

By Toxic masculinity - 03/09/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my son told me he liked a girl at school. I told him to be extra sweet to her, carry her bag, and make every day brighter for her. My husband snorted and said, "That's simp shit. Don't do any of that. Act like a man, and if she's not into you, shrug and move on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 299

You'll understand when you're older

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 11:01 - United States - Livonia

Today, my mom told me the night before our school trip that I’m not going so she could get a refund. Now I have to stay alone with my mom for a week, while my friends are having the time of their life in NYC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 141

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 016

You deserved it 1 676

Today, my doctor told me that the reason I'm losing my eyesight is because I'm straining my eyes, and that the best thing for me to do is to limit my time in front of computers. I spent years in college to get my current job which involves sitting in front of computers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 287

You deserved it 2 760

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 616

You deserved it 2 758

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 684

You deserved it 36 549

Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 2 130

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 199

You deserved it 8 186