Love

By jacey chreyest - 14/02/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 832

You deserved it 5 020

By fuck you right back, cockspit - 14/02/2014 21:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 688

You deserved it 8 328

By nana_star - 14/02/2014 07:59 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, in the middle of telling my mother about my engagement, she suddenly broke down in tears about her problems at work and her loveless marriage, and abruptly hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 049

You deserved it 4 494

nana_star tells us more.

nana_star 27

Friday 14 February 2014 16:04

Wow! I can't believe this got published! To fill you guys in, my stepdad is just going through a rough time and it's taking its toll on my mom. She is better now and congratulated us both! Thanks to everyone who congratulated us as well! (I'm not sure if FML will show my OP-ness because I'm using the mobile app. If it doesn't, I promise I'm not a troll) :)

By Anonymous - 14/02/2014 01:31 - United States

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 013

You deserved it 7 263

By Anonymous - 12/02/2014 21:25 - Australia

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 655

You deserved it 4 847

By not even getting any of her shrimp - 11/02/2014 21:50 - United States - Draper

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 701

You deserved it 6 523

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 378

You deserved it 4 459

By Anonymous - 09/02/2014 19:00 - United States - Lowell

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 688

You deserved it 5 437

By Tara115 - 09/02/2014 07:20 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 313

You deserved it 7 598

By look before you speak - 09/02/2014 07:12 - United States

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 641

You deserved it 13 839

He's a keeper

By mariana - 08/02/2014 00:18 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 704

You deserved it 10 352

Tactical

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 741

You deserved it 53 139

By a2 - 06/02/2014 06:57 - Australia - Bayswater

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 036

You deserved it 8 248

By chiahuahualove - 05/02/2014 14:26 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 926

You deserved it 12 460

chiahuahualove tells us more.

chiahuahualove 10

Thursday 6 February 2014 14:06

Hey there OP here! Firstly thank you to the lovely people with kind messages ! Secondly here's the full story... that password is only needed to log into my bank on a computer, since I always use my phone that wasn't needed for months and completely forgot about it ... Until I needed it. So hence why I haven't changed it ... I didn't need it for 3 months! To those "Lovely keyboard warriors" ( sarcasm) Let me remind you, you are on FML, a space for laughter and face palming ... Not a self help website and your "Advice" isn't requested nor needed Thanks again too all you lovelies ! It's hard when you thought you would marry him and then need to realign your life with current reality... Peace and love OP

By BigLove - 05/02/2014 02:25 - United States - Stoneham

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 498

You deserved it 5 308

By Anonymous - 04/02/2014 21:42 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 339

You deserved it 4 482

By lbailey32 - 04/02/2014 01:30 - United States - Seneca Falls

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 310

You deserved it 4 473

By well i'm fucked - 03/02/2014 22:47 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 203

You deserved it 6 857

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 575

You deserved it 6 708

WTF?

By Can't Believe It. - 03/02/2014 20:11 - United States - Fairview

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 257

You deserved it 9 219

By Anonymous - 02/02/2014 18:39 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 060

You deserved it 6 288

By itwasalongnight - 02/02/2014 11:32

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 314

You deserved it 4 304

itwasalongnight tells us more.

itwasalongnight 10

Monday 3 February 2014 2:31

OP here. First of all: Yay! It got published! Second to those who say I deserve it or should move: I own my condo, so not able to move at this point. I do not live in a flood zone or swamp. Both floods have been sewage backups from blockages at least 150 feet from my condo. The one 10 months ago happened while I was at work--that was a disaster. This time my neighbors flooded (badly) on both sides. Water from one neighbor came under our shared wall. Not too bad this time and I was able to get the clean out cap off outside right away so it flowed into my backyard instead of my house. Truly an awful experience to be sure. I thank my lucky stars that I opted to cancel my plans and stay home and watch a movie... Otherwise it would have been at least as bad as last time. I'll admit... I'm afraid to put that clean clean out cap back on!