Love

Statutory

By I don't care if it was consented or not, I'm gonna whoop the shit out of this child-molesting fuck. - 22/09/2021 23:00

Today, my sister, who is now 19, gathered the guts to formally present her boyfriend to us. She was so concerned that my parents wouldn't let her have a boyfriend, she kept it a secret for 5 years. We were happy to hear it, until she presented him to us. He's a 35-year-old taxi driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 152

Some guys will hump anything

By slschmidt - 22/09/2021 14:00 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, when asked for a second date, I had to explain to a man that I didn’t want to see him again, and that he should give women compliments and ask them questions when on a date. He then told me he only does that when his dates look good or say something interesting. He sure still tried to fuck me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 345

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By nexus - 22/09/2021 04:00 - Papua New Guinea

Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 169

Young love

By loser - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I asked the girl I sort of like as we were leaving class how her day was going so far. She said, "Great. Don't ruin it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 081

You deserved it 3 374

First date, and probably the last

By DrunkGirl - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 779

You deserved it 63 400

Single life

By AnonThoughts - 19/09/2021 17:00

Today, I'm single again, after my now ex attacked my best friend out of jealousy, forcing me to choose between 25 years of friendship and 3 months of a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 130

Classic

By notacreeper - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was, "Does she know?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 862

You deserved it 5 414

Thanks Texas

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 10:59

Today, my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum: either get an abortion, or he’ll move out to go work for his brother, and good luck chasing him up for child support because his brother lives abroad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 294

Not such a happy ending

By JustJared - 15/09/2021 05:00

Today, I get to see my best friend and love of my life of two years marry the man she loves. Back then, I lied and told her I was gay to avoid her finding out my feelings for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 2 047

The single life

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 22:00 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me while I'm deployed overseas. Her reason why is that she needs "to be alone to better herself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 101

Plans

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 02:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex asked me to take the kids for the day, which was odd as it's her weekend. My son let slip that she was getting ready for a surprise birthday party, but I wasn't supposed to know. As it's my birthday in 3 days, I was touched that she'd planned something. Turns out it's a surprise party for her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 506

Narcissus

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 17:00

Today, my friend isn't speaking to me since I came out to her. Not because she's a homophobe, but because she's mortally offended that I didn't confess my love in the process. Seems that everyone who's attracted to women should be attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 123

Not a fan

By Cheri - 13/09/2021 13:59

Today, it’s my mom’s 65th birthday celebration. I have to share a room at the resort, table and car ride with my sister, who my ex-husband left me for and got pregnant. She tries to talk to me as if nothing ever happened, and my parents bitch me out for being upset at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 119

Not cool, not at all

By dammed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 605

You deserved it 2 197

Compliments are tricky

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 08:00

Today, I told my boyfriend he's handsome, which I do often. Not everyday, but maybe once or twice a week. He got upset at me. He said it makes him feel uncomfortable. We've been together for 3 years and I still think he's the most handsome man I've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 166

Marriage benefits

By Anonymous - 10/09/2021 17:00

Today, my husband told me he’s gay, has a boyfriend and will be living with him, but he wants to stay married because it has good tax benefits, plus our joint mortgage, and if he comes out to his father he’ll be cut from the will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 119

Tindersticks

By noluckthere - 10/09/2021 02:01

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and set all my stuff on fire. Why? Because she found my Tinder account. I haven’t even used it since I met her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 404

Bye bye asshat

By Sadbxtch - 09/09/2021 17:01

Today, my now-ex-fiance told me he’s leaving me for his pregnant coworker. The baby is his. The same coworker he assured me was just a "professional platonic friendship." Our wedding was set to be this Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 111

Sorry for asking…

By volleyballgirl12 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 561

You deserved it 6 551

Humblebrag

By Jason - 09/09/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that have large "parts" is not all it's cracked up to be, when the girl of my dreams broke up with me because, and I quote, "We tried everything and it just won't fit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 543

You deserved it 403

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 463

And yet you have phone? Curious Andy

By Nostalgia - 08/09/2021 20:01

Today, I packed up to get ready to move to my boyfriend’s. I just graduated high school and I don’t get along with his mom, but I have no other choice of living. I was supposed to move in with his family tomorrow but now his mom won’t let me. It was last minute, and I’m basically homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 349

Taking liberties

By Bernie - 07/09/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, my live-in mother-in-law gave away the family dog because it’s "one less mouth to feed." Last week, she "accidentally" threw away the mail, thinking it was junk mail. No matter how hard I try to convince my wife to kick her out, she tells me, "But that’s my mother, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 164

To catch a predator

By not to blame - 07/09/2021 02:01

Today, my boyfriend’s family, whom I’ve known since I was in elementary school, now completely hate and blame me for "ruining their precious baby boy’s life." I'd called the police and reported him after finding out he cheated on me with not one, but several high school girls. We’re in our 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 358

You deserved it 261

Heads up

By nobueno - 06/09/2021 23:01

Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 118

Respect

By it’s still cheating! - 05/09/2021 11:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my wife, who’s been a stay at home mom since our kids were born, hasn’t really been out looking for a day job since they’re old enough to be in school full time now. She has however been day-drinking and hooking up with the neighbor's wife. She insists she’s not gay, just experimenting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 216

Missed connections

By Anonymous - 05/09/2021 05:01 - United States - San Diego

Today, I found out the guy I had a huge crush on back in college, and still think of every day, actually did like me back. Except I’ve been married for nearly 8 years to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 1 169

Happy… where d'he go?

By Lonely - 05/09/2021 04:59 - United States

Today, it's our fifth-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I gave him his gift and walked over to the kitchen to serve him some food I'd made. On my way back to the dining room, I overheard his plans with his friend to ditch me in 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 128

All over the place

By unluckyinlove - 05/09/2021 00:31 - Australia - Ridgehaven

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me and now has a 4 year old, and as he’s told me, we should get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 98

Great prank ideas #47

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 23:01 - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game with my wife. During intermission, the kiss cam chose my wife and me. So, what do you expect, I kissed her, but she decided to slap me and pretend she didn't know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 205

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I inherited a lot of money from a great aunt that I had forgotten about. Her immediate family are all scumbags who were only after her money, so she willed it to me and my mom to say "fuck you" to them from beyond the grave. Now I keep getting threatening phone calls. Thanks auntie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 463

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 809

You deserved it 2 632

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 713

You deserved it 5 225

Today my cat watched me clean and refill his water bowls, then shoved his fresh-out-of-the-litter-box paw in my glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 434

You deserved it 348

Today, unfortunately, my new husband's idea of foreplay is to tap me on the shoulder and tell me to roll over. I saved myself for marriage for this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 703

You deserved it 3 410

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 2 946