Love

Smuckling twat

By Depressed - 13/05/2022 22:00

Today, my boyfriend is leaving me for his pregnant side chick, all because I “deprived” him of sex after suffering a miscarriage. To top it all off, the smug bastard actually told me, “Don’t worry, you’ll find happiness again someday, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Seriously dude? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 236

Pleased to see you too

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, my wife, who I haven’t seen for over a month because we both travel a lot for work, got home. The last thing she said to me was that she couldn't wait to get home because she just wants some alone time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 238

Surpriiiiiiise…

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 796

Karma

By yeahImgreat - 12/05/2022 14:00 - Netherlands

Today, after three months of going back and forth between staying with my boyfriend and leaving him for someone else, I finally made the decision to go for the other guy. When I told him, he admitted to never seeing himself with me, as he "doesn't do cheaters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 2 610

Quality alone time

By Anonymous - 11/05/2022 23:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boyfriend and I are renovating his mother's house. We have some yard work to do this weekend there, where he jokingly referred to it as, “quality alone time.” To that, my smartass response was, “Quality alone time? Is your mother gonna be there?” He blew a fuse and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 333

Not sure it's the age difference…

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 22:00

Today, I regret ever deciding to ask out a younger man. I’m 27 and he’s 21. I’m worried about my career, he’s worried about his Xbox; I love my parents, he’s still rebelling against his like an emo teenager; I want romance, he likes to wobble my breasts while giggling, saying, “Boobies.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 1 966

Run for the hills

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 18:00

Today, I finally realized my husband sees our son and I as more of a financial burden than actually wanting to provide for us. Well, now what the fuck do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 294

Double life

By augustpearl - 09/05/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a secret phone that's full of fake names and profiles (all his) and other women's nudes, with fake email accounts and social media accounts. He “wants us to work it out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 140

Wouldn't hurt a…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 861

You deserved it 4 245

Either/Or

By Confused - 09/05/2022 14:00

Today, my long distance girlfriend finally responded to me, after a week of silence. Unfortunately, the response was to block me. I'm pretty sure she has found someone else, but doesn't want to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 142

Little *****

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 06:00 - Australia

Today, and every other weekend for the past 4 weeks, my boyfriend has made the 2 and a half hour drive to come stay with me. For some reason, every time he comes down, we see 1 or 2 cockroaches in my house. I'm at home most of the time, and I never see any cockroaches. I swear they're conspiring to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 171

Hate crime

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 04:00

Today, I was planning to propose to my girlfriend. I got out the ring and… she did the same. Coincidentally, she'd planned to propose to me, so we'd both got rings. Too bad our perfect moment was ruined by the bigot who called us “lezzers” and poured a pitcher of beer over both our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 452

You deserved it 302

A real mess

By huh? - 09/05/2022 00:01

Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 294

Cool your jets

By unimpressed bride - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Traverse City

Today, it's been two weeks since I got married. It's also two weeks since my husband got cold feet about moving in together, because he thinks the sudden change would be too emotionally distressing for his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 323

You deserved it 3 233

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 08/05/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 122

Home invasion

By Anonymous - 07/05/2022 18:01 - Canada

Today, I’m living out of a suitcase this week, so that my ex-boyfriend, who moved across the country and was going to stay with me for a little while, can quarantine in my house with his girlfriend, who I requested wasn’t in my house in the first place. They didn’t ask, just decided while I wasn’t home that it was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 444

It's not for everyone

By Stacey - 07/05/2022 22:00

Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 181

Manchild

By Guyinstructor - 06/05/2022 18:00

Today, and ever since my boyfriend moved in, I've learned just how much his mother did everything for him and never taught him how to adult. In the last month I've had to show him how to cook, clean the house, do laundry and drying, use the vacuum, pay household bills, and he still moans its too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 235

Pulling the God card

By Smdh - 06/05/2022 16:00

Today, my sister announced her engagement to my ex-boyfriend, who she’d stolen from me. She got upset that I told her I’m not attending her wedding, nor congratulating her. Since she’s “Christian” her logic is “What God joined together, let no man separate.” Yeah, right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 143

I can explain

By 1nn0cen7 1 sw3ar - 06/05/2022 14:00

Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 180

Badmouthing

By can'tbreathe - 06/05/2022 06:01

Today, I contemplated leaving my husband because his best friend is overbearing and doesn't respect the boundaries of our relationship, all while talking bad about me to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 145

Nice catching up with you

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 22:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I messaged a crush (it was mutual and we adored each other) from five years ago, just to talk. He seemed happy and we had a good convo talking about how our lives have changed, until he said, “Uh I seriously don’t remember you though, lol. Thanks for the follow, though”. then left me on seen and unfollowed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 200

Sharing is caring

By josie - 05/05/2022 10:00

Today, my husband of twenty years thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t fart in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 276

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 02:00

Today, for our third date, we watched a romantic movie at my house. The sex scene got me all hot and bothered, so I started holding his hand, massaging his thigh, and even fondling his dick, but when I turned to pounce on him right then and there, the bastard was asleep from boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 466

Really? In 2022?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 18:01 - United States

Today, I was busy going over wedding plans with my fiancé, when my mother called. Apparently, she wants me to "drop the joke" about this "fake engagement", because she was under the impression I was only dating a white guy to piss her and dad off, and was now getting carried away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 122

God friended me

By fmlimoverit - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 846

You deserved it 3 761

Never the twain

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 00:00

Today, after “talking” and flirting with my team lead for a few months, we started dating and I quit my job, which I really liked, and started working somewhere I didn’t just so we could be together. Now, two weeks after quitting, she breaks up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 1 242

Bait

By Anonymous - 03/05/2022 10:00 - United States - Sardinia

Today, I got a text from my ex-girlfriend asking me if I wanted an old college hoodie back. I said yes and thank you, and she replied saying, "Well I don’t respect you, so don’t contact me again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 109

Double standards

By onlywantuanyway - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 176

You deserved it 8 530

Dealbreaker

By trapped - 01/05/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, it’s only been a few months but I’m seriously considering leaving my husband. His kids were fine during weekend visits, but now that they live with us they’ve become absolutely insufferable fucking monsters. He won’t discipline them, and when I try they, tell the most awful lies about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 245

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 873

You deserved it 1 748

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 227

You deserved it 4 314

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 185

You deserved it 4 038

Today, I was getting ready for school and stepped out on my porch to go wait for the bus. I literally said out loud, “Today is gonna be a good day.” I took one step and fell all the way down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 192

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 241

You deserved it 7 324

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 694

You deserved it 8 178