Love

Now you know

By FuckfaceSteve - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Chester-le-street

Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 317

You deserved it 4 578

Wild mood swings

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 00:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, once again, my partner is screaming at me for something that I have done and, as usual, she won't tell what it was, only that, "You know what you did," and, as usual, I have no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 198

You must conform

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 13:00

Today, my bestie had me kicked out of her wedding the day of. All because I altered my bridesmaid's dress without telling her. She knows I hate fabric against my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 2 336

Chill out, Dad

By Charlie - 18/09/2022 10:30

Today, I spent $400 on concert tickets just to hear, “I’d fuck the lead singer” for three hours leading up to the concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 264

Seems reasonable

By Anonymous - 17/09/2022 22:00

Today, my new girlfriend tried to get me to quit being a gynaecologist because she says touching vaginas all day is low-key cheating on her. Lady, it took years of training to get this job, which I take very seriously, and we’ve only been on 4 dates. Between my career and you, I ain’t gonna choose you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 144

Written in ink made from tears

By Popoi - 17/09/2022 11:00 - United States - Rochester

Today, I found out my fiancé has been cheating on me for the past six months. I have a final tomorrow and have been busy crying, so guess I'll just have to fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 232

No Columbo

By Anonymous - 17/09/2022 09:30

Today, as my wife loves games, she set me a series of clues leading to our date night, where she's waiting for me. WHY? She knows how bad a problem solver I am. By the time she realised I was going to be hopelessly late, and answered my 50 missed calls, I’d only solved the first 2 clues out of 18 total. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 224

Not a great start

By Durrrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I'm interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 741

You deserved it 11 965

A real pro

By weddingplannerlyfe - 16/09/2022 21:00

Today, I had the wedding from hell. Nope, not a bridezilla, but a makeup artist-zilla who caused the ceremony to begin over an hour and a half late, and then tried to charge the bride for her delays. She then went nuts when confronted with the reality of her poor time management. “Professional” my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 111

Slightly homophobic, but OK

By Reissa - 16/09/2022 07:30 - Canada

Today, I realized people think my boyfriend is gay because he loves romantic movies, gardening, shoe shopping, reading magazines, and bathing by himself in candlelight. After him asking me to cuddle and me to be the "big spoon," I'm starting to question it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 1 498

Buddy Rich is not dead

By DrumrollPlease - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, my father informed me that he plans to play a drum solo instead of making a speech at my wedding. And yes, he IS completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 728

You deserved it 2 169

Why? What? Where? When?

By Anonymous - 15/09/2022 15:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, my fiancée of 4 years decided she can't live with me anymore. She never gave a reason, just upped and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 210

Sounds reasonable

By jenn8209 - 15/09/2022 01:30

Today, it’s my honeymoon. Before sexy time, my new husband made me do my first “act of loyalty” to him: text all my male contacts who were not family to “never speak to me again” and delete then from social media and cellphone. Apparently, I “can’t be hoeing” around during marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 755

You deserved it 646

Fatherhood

By Anonymous - 14/09/2022 23:00

Today, I got further proof my boyfriend isn’t a good dad. I had to leave him for about 4 hours to see my mom in hospital, but when I got home the baby was crying to be fed with a dirty nappy. I asked why she hadn’t been fed or changed. Apparently it never occurred to him that that’s why she was crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 442

You're kidding me?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, after being stood up at a diner, I called the girl who was supposed to have met me. Turns out, she thought I was kidding when I asked her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 697

You deserved it 3 357

Cheeky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say, "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 098

You deserved it 3 220

Dadbods for ever

By Anonymous - 13/09/2022 14:30

Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 374

Double betrayal

By Mac - 13/09/2022 09:30

Today, I learned my wife has a lover. He's more handsome than me, and bigger than me. I might've been OK with it if he wasn't my daughter's boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 215

Quit playing

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 21:00

Today, while drinking and catching up with a ex that I still love, she invited a guy over, flirted with him right in front of me, then went home with him, When I messaged her to say I found it disrespectful as fuck, she replied with sorry, she didn’t mean to hurt me, and that she misses me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 1 384

Charlie!

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 18:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 335

Gaslighting

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 08:30

Today, I escaped an abusive relationship, only for him to manipulate my family into thinking i’m crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 128

Cougartown

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 01:00

Today, my boyfriend met my mom and started acting strange. Then my dad came in and was instantly furious. Apparently, my boyfriend is the guy my mom cheated with that caused my parent's divorce. He’s 3 years younger than I am. Gross mom, just gross. Also I’m single again, damn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 154

You deserved it 220

Collect the set

By Anonymous - 11/09/2022 22:30

Today, my ex-boyfriend is now dating my cousin, and he's stopped hanging out with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 199

Too much of a good thing

By emmalou - 11/09/2022 10:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who was leaving the next day. I went out with the intention of a having a carefree good time, as a single parent I don't get many and they haven't been good in years. I ended up having the BEST night in a long time, we stayed up all night talking and pleasuring ourselves, now I don't know when I'll find that again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 358

Impressive

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I messaged my sister on Facebook chat. We always start our conversations with, "HEY SLUT" or, "HEY WHORE" etc. It wasn't my sister. However, her boyfriend's mom has a great first impression of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 297

You deserved it 27 777

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 09/09/2022 17:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as I'm traditional, this that means I learned the bride's parents pay for wedding, the groom's parents pay for the honeymoon. My in-laws didn't pay for a honeymoon. Fine - they disappointed me, I'll disappoint them with no grandchildren. No honeymoon, no grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 2 900

Brief encounter

By Angry Orphan - 09/09/2022 15:29

Today, after I got reacquainted with an old friend with whom it'd been 12 years since we last spoke, both divorced, with kids, we started talking, start feeling things for each other. We'd both agreed to take things slow. We spend an amazing weekend together, made plans to spend my birthday together, and then I was ghosted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 173

Moral conundrum

By Nate - 09/09/2022 05:30

Today, my baby mama got her septum pierced. It's funny that if I called her a cow, she’d likely break up with me. But she gets the same ring in her nose as a cow, and NO ONE is supposed to notice that. I can only think of cows when I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 968

I mean, technically you can still do it…

By Anonymous - 09/09/2022 00:30

Today, I had been looking forward to sex all day, got home, got my husband's engine running, got naked on top of him, violently sneezed at his new aftershave, and started my period all over his balls. We were centimetres away from sex and now have to wait 3 to 7 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 451

Jack…

By Alliente - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 715

You deserved it 3 951

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had my window opened slightly, without a screen behind it. I walked into the living room and smelled a skunk. I looked out the window and saw a skunk, so I quickly closed the window. However, it was too late. Before I could do so, it turned and sprayed me, a few meters of my house, and our front porch too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 171

Today, the guy we'd offered to hire, who had a 2-month notice period, emailed to say he couldn't come after all, because his employer offered to retain him. In this two-month timeframe, we didn't interview anybody else and now we're in deep shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 513

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 356

You deserved it 3 847

Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 737

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 224

You deserved it 323

Today my boyfriend (maybe ex) is pissed at me because when he asked for space, I gave him exactly that. I didn’t call, text, or give any sort of communication. He took it as a sign that I must not be truly invested in us if I didn’t reach out. I thought we were adults not highschoolers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 106