Kids

OP here replying to Nikki - The world is different for sons and daughters. Last summer, when she was 13, she snuck out in the middle of the night and walked 5km to make out with her boyfriend on lawn of a toys'r us. The police called me at 3 in the morning to come pick her up. (my previous FML) As much as I try and treat my sons and daughters the same, it really isn't safe for a young girl to be walking alone in the middle of the night. That's also why I couldn't really demand her and her friends come in, since her older brothers would go skate boarding in the middle of the night. At least she was out right outside our house so I knew she was safe.

By failure - 28/06/2009 01:00 - Australia

Today, I was sitting in a park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as I moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I'd like to play as the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said, "No thanks!" to which the kid responded, "But there's nobody else ugly enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 369

You deserved it 4 383

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 14:15 - United Kingdom - Saint Austell

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 795

You deserved it 2 883

Twisted firestarter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 477

You deserved it 5 883

Thanks a lot

By Not a maid - 14/07/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 178

Nice day for a walk

By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, I waved at a baby in a stroller whilst walking past a pub's beer garden. The baby didn't wave back. Instead, the 'mum' turned around and said, 'Why are you waving at my bag?' I then realised that it wasn't a baby stroller, just a big purse with a blanket over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 398

By Shoutout1011 - 15/04/2017 22:00

Today, my 6-month-old daughter decided she'd scream every time I'd answer her cries instead of her daddy. He just left for a 12-hour shift at work. Only 11 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 641

You deserved it 480

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 01:30

Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 498

You deserved it 784

What?

By Richard - 07/08/2018 18:30

Today, my friends and I were kicked out of a Red Robin after the manager told us that our server accused us of making "sexually suggestive gestures" towards her. The gesture in question was the circle game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 1 503

Bewitched

By Frozen Delight - 24/02/2019 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my husband and our 4-year-old daughter were watching My Little Pony. When her favorite character angrily screamed, "You're going to love me!", she looked at him with a perplexed look. My husband then responded, "And THAT'S how I met your mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 442

By Hi_Five - 03/12/2015 20:48 - United States - Wake Forest

Today, I spoke to a highly recommended therapist for my special-needs child. After 45 minutes of describing our challenges, heartbreaks and other very personal information, she told me that her schedule was permanently full. But she invited me to go through the phone book to find someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 291

You deserved it 1 784

Hi_Five tells us more.

Hi_Five 7

Monday 7 December 2015 5:12

OP here - uh, no. You are making things up out of whole cloth. I would never self-diagnose my kid. We have been through years of trying to get the best help we can find, and that does not include charlatans, vaccine-deniers and the internet. Try again.