Farts

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 281

You deserved it 363

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 611

You deserved it 4 016

Best I can do is…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 05:00

Today, while working in my pawn shop, I was showing jewelry to a distinguished lady. I had to fart. I tried to wait. It was too much, so I let it slip silently. As she handled a $2000 necklace, I realized that the 2-foot counter between us would never save her from the foul poisonous cloud that had formed. She realized it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 367

Shots fired

By Its a gas - 13/06/2025 00:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 493

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 13:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 820

You deserved it 4 370

Erm, OK?

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 436

Let it all out

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, my four year-old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 926

You deserved it 5 437

It's a gas gas gas

By wtf?? - 17/01/2022 02:02

Today, it took a whole year to convince my girlfriend to sleep in the same bed as me, because she was afraid she’d fart. Every time, I assured her she was just being paranoid. Turns out, she farts more than anyone I’ve ever slept with. Combined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 514

Rip it up

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 696

You deserved it 11 057

By Username - 14/07/2011 20:09 - United States

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 345

You deserved it 5 778

Get a load of this

By Zoro - 13/09/2023 21:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 200

Broken dreams

By dreamteam - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 935

You deserved it 12 692

Ight imma head out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 164

Inside out?

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 21:00

Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 154

Sharing is caring

By josie - 05/05/2022 10:00

Today, my husband of twenty years thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t fart in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 276

Something rotten

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the gas company had to be called into work for a possible gas leak. The pipes are fine. I had White Castle for dinner last night. I'm the gas leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 141

You deserved it 1 438

Pros and cons

By Anonymous - 27/06/2022 12:00

Today, I realised that I can't orgasm if I don't relax enough to let myself fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 240

Gas giant

By Anonymous - 04/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend refuses to follow her doctor-mandated diet, which results in, among other things, utterly rancid gas. It's so foul that I've taken to sleeping on the couch, and I'm seriously considering hiring a prostitute so I can have sex without gagging on the stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 246

Insomnia tip

By pull my finger - 30/06/2024 10:00 - United States - Asheville

Today, as I sometimes do, I laid in bed at night rating my farts as I couldn't sleep. I'm a 53 year-old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 249

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 981

You deserved it 6 547

Feu Orange

By Farty - 02/09/2021 19:01 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a car air freshener on his desk, because it "keeps my farts away from his air." FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 321

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 155

You deserved it 3 871

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 044

You deserved it 6 025

Grammy award winner

By blow away - 28/07/2014 04:36 - United States - Middletown

Today, my husband played a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 408

You deserved it 4 580

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 821

You deserved it 11 984

Early morning noise

By Juju Bear - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - France - Paris

Today, my girlfriend woke up, and while half-asleep, muttered, "What time is it? Have the neighbours started drilling again?" I'll try harder to keep my farts in from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 601

You deserved it 3 888

By Ted - 06/06/2019 18:00

Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 204

You deserved it 496

Every home should have one

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 890

You deserved it 4 594

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 310

You deserved it 439

Pay attention

By That_Indian_Guy - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Oviedo

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 294

You deserved it 9 730

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 133

Today, I’m a cashier and I put a lady’s change on the counter instead of in her hand. She then hissed at me for being rude. When I explained to her that I have never heard that it’s rude to do that, her response was, "Are you kidding me!? You should have been BORN knowing that!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 342

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 280

You deserved it 3 330

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 205

You deserved it 11 048

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 712

You deserved it 13 839

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 911

You deserved it 3 674