Awkward

Whistleblower

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I discovered two senior doctors made misdiagnoses by ignoring protocols. When I confronted them, they denied it. My director told me not to turn them in, and I'm not financially stable enough to quit. The state licensing board only takes complaints from patients. I'm so sorry, I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 94

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 160

Not feeling it

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 03:59

Today, it's the 11th time in a row my wife has promised sex, then backed out. Some were good valid reasons I’ll admit, but this time we got as far as naked dry-humping when she suddenly decided she was too upset about our cat dying 8 years ago, so instead she played on her phone until she fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 068

You deserved it 330

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 14:01

Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 181

You deserved it 203

Richard

By hot sweet.... not - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Renfrew

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with Play-Doh and made a sculpture that looked like a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 701

You deserved it 6 213

Teenage Riot

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 19:59

Today, my teenage son reacted to the news of his cousin's death like I’d just told him a bug got squashed on a car windscreen. He didn’t even look away from his computer screen, or react in any way. He seemed more annoyed that I’d interrupted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 206

Suspicious Minds

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 16:01

Today, I finally found out why my wife always told me to never visit her at work. You see, my wife and I are dark haired with blue/brown eyes and our daughter is blonde with very striking emerald green eyes. You know who else is blonde with striking emerald eyes? My wife’s boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 125

God is Dead 6: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 187

On the leash

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 01:59

Today, it hit me hard that the girl I love is not still not interested after a year. She's now ghosting me, and she hangs out with my friends daily. She constantly talks about dating in front of me and only text/calls me when I post shorts/stories hanging out with other girls, just to pull me back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 812

Dog people

By peta eata - 02/08/2021 13:01 - United States

Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 93

Language barrier

By Jan - 02/08/2021 13:01

Today, my mother who learned English as an adult sent an email to my boss, thanking them for hiring me even though I'm "retarded." I’m a law school graduate who was diagnosed with a minor learning disability in kindergarten, but she still calls me "retarded" when speaking English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 118

Sophie's Choice

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 04:01

Today, my love life comes down to a choice in loneliness: I can either be alone, because I never meet anyone these days, let alone an interesting guy. Or, I can go back to my ex, who I left because he made me feel alone while sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 212

Festival spirit

By Festivalgal - 01/08/2021 20:01

Today, I went to a music festival with my boyfriend and ran into his female bestie. She refused to say “Hello”, looked at me up and down, and made passive-aggressive remarks under her breath. After a while of us three hanging out, she stormed off and told him, "We’ll talk about this later, call me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 165

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 113

First time?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 23:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 320

Lonely days

By beckbr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response, "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 401

You deserved it 29 986

Supportive

By Defeated - 31/07/2021 18:01

Today, I left hospital after suffering a head injury. My neurosurgeon gave my wife a list of potential household changes that needed to be made, otherwise I could have a fatal seizure. We got in the car and she said, "You do realise we aren’t doing a single thing on that bullshit list, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 111

I did your mom

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 16:01

Today, I foolishly asked my dad why he had a disability rail fitted, not in his bathroom next to the toilet, but above his bed instead. He told me that with his bad joints, he needs something to grab onto on Saturday nights while he’s plowing my mom doggy style. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 1 559

Quickfire round

By Driri - 31/07/2021 08:00

Today, I had a panel job interview with 3 people. My nerves got the best of me, especially when they asked me about my weaknesses. I gave them an answer, but they kept bombarding me with additional follow-up questions that I couldn’t think of the answers to. It got so bad, I was reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 189

Seems unlikely

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 22:01 - United States - Brookville

Today, I teasingly asked my crush why he never came to visit me in my dorm. He said that all his friends there had moved out and gotten apartments, so he had no reason to go to my dorm. Oh. I thought we were friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 181

Unsociable media

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 00:01

Today, I'm a social media manager, and a client complained about having to put forward her personality to gain followers, also refusing to promote her works personally on camera. She's an actress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 106

Libertarian dream

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 11:01 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, it's been 50 hours since our power outage began. The authorities don't seem to be bothered enough to fix the problem and are constantly making excuses for delays. Did I mention my warm water fish are dying from lack of heat, and it's my time off work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 96

Still a better a love story than Alien vs. Predator

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 284

The bobs and vagene guy

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, ever since I let my boyfriend touch my boobs, he thinks it's appropriate to grope me whenever he feels like it. Even talking to him about it doesn't seem to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 230

Inebriated utterances

By Brenden Alistair Maye - 30/07/2021 01:59

Today, after the girl I fell head over heels for asked me out last night, it turns out she was so drunk at the time, she doesn't remember and doesn't want to date me at all. I'm beginning to feel like my life is some shitty movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 121

Catch me!

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 00:01

Today, like every month, I have to play hide and seek. Every month? Yeah. My cervix somehow moves around inside me, and if I want to bleed into my menstrual cup and not around it, I have to find and catch my cervix first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 170

Things that go bump in the… parking lot

By Lousydriver - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was about to drive out of a parking lot. The space in front of me was empty, so I figured I could drive forward. I hadn't noticed that there was a median in front, and my car got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 412

You deserved it 31 970

Olympic kerfuffle

By Stace - 29/07/2021 16:01 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my dad went on a rant about the US Olympics gymnastics team, claiming that it was a disgrace that someone dropped out, and that it was disrespecting "our flag". He's never watched the Olympic games ever, not to mention any gymnastics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 154

What the…?

By lordoftheweird - 29/07/2021 10:59

Today, because no one else was willing to, I had to explain to my uncle that he's white, that I'm not his grandfather, and that he's mentally challenged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 121

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 28/07/2021 23:01 - United States - Portland

Today, I was bowling with a woman I like. At the end of the night, I was trying to decide whether I should ask her out. I went up to her and said, "It was fun bowling with you." She said, "Thank you, Patrick." My name isn't Patrick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 151

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I felt I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 945

You deserved it 228 569

Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 565

You deserved it 2 411

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 642

You deserved it 5 895

Today, I brought my girlfriend back to my place, but my abusive, homeless dad, who I haven’t spoken to in a year, had broken in to have sex with some woman in my front room, before both passing out on heroin. My girlfriend saw my dad's penis and drug stuff, and left me to clean him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 263

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 167

You deserved it 4 938

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 306

You deserved it 14 185