05paiger

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05paiger's favorite FMLs

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 22/01/2009 16:09 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML

agreeclassic 9 216

vote type 1 29 871

Poke-baller

By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 07:10 - United States - Marion

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

agreeclassic 61 044

vote type 1 70 258

Considerate boyfriend

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 07:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 70 878

vote type 1 15 863

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 00:21 - United States - Matteson

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

agreeclassic 65 383

vote type 1 4 470

Rules and regulations

By backseatbusted - 21/05/2013 16:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

agreeclassic 56 911

vote type 1 13 036