njpanther32

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Njpanther32's favorite FMLs

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

agreeclassic 24 998

vote type 1 12 177

By Nofriends - 09/07/2012 11:44 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

agreeclassic 19 438

vote type 1 25 167

Hormonal

By LNamesOnly - 09/07/2012 07:31 - Australia

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

agreeclassic 31 683

vote type 1 4 197

By wetandnaked - 09/07/2012 07:06 - United States - San Bernardino

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

agreeclassic 32 633

vote type 1 3 275

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Thursday 12 July 2012 8:27

OP here: Doctor says it's most likely due to the low blood pressure I didn't know I had prior to that visit. He suggested I include more salt in my diet, and that's about it. Also, I woke up with a towel draped over me, I'm definitely female, and no, the soap didn't smell like chloroform hahaha.

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 21:03 - United States - Marinette

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

agreeclassic 23 631

vote type 1 7 531