commandercake

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33 years-old
Sunday 09 August 1992
complicated

A propos de Commandercake

I'm an artist, a writer, and I currently work as a cake decorator. I hate my job, and I am a huge dork. Most of my FMLs will probably be about one or the other.

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Commandercake's favorite FMLs

Directions

By jay-frey96 - 02/11/2014 15:36 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

agreeclassic 45 680

vote type 1 14 038

By facepalm - 15/10/2014 23:36 - United States - Gainesville

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

agreeclassic 40 447

vote type 1 4 390

By Anonymous - 15/10/2014 17:07 - United States - Tuscaloosa

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

agreeclassic 28 799

vote type 1 58 797

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 02:48 - United States - Gainesboro

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

agreeclassic 38 256

vote type 1 4 944

By too good - 24/10/2014 10:54 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

agreeclassic 45 077

vote type 1 14 594