•
•
•

___juuules

0

0

0

6

907

3

31
Monday 19 September 1994

___juuules

___juuules -

___juuules -

___juuules

lovers5201

Mmmhmmohka...

KathrinLor...

_kristaaxo

NalaBaloo

Burton_For...

britbear07...

Mukuro_fml

christianf...

davisjenny...

sdlr32787

Elgaard

_kristaaxo

___juuules

___juuules

It's not what you think…

sucks - - United States

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

37 941

159 054

Someone thinks highly of themself

ballerphilip23 - 15/05/2009 17:11 - Austria

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screamed, "Stop winking at me, don't even think about it you ugly fuck!" FML

39 986

2 982

RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

800

1 949