DarkAvalon

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Darkavalon's favorite FMLs

You what?

By Sally - 26/01/2009 00:06

Today, I'm studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

agreeclassic 23 403

vote type 1 5 422

By headinabag33 - 15/02/2016 01:57 - United States - Wilson

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

agreeclassic 37 339

vote type 1 3 538

headinabag33 app_comment_confession_title

headinabag33 1

Monday 15 February 2016 20:53

Hey...OP here. So in this theatre there are two curtains. The second one (more up stage, away from the audience) has been broken. So we just open both curtains, since the second one never opens. We perform in front of it and it's no big deal. We get some great lighting off it really, and once we had someone stand back there and shake it and looked cool. Someone fixed the second curtain without telling us. The actors were having sex behind the "broken" curtain and it opened. No one told them to stop because they were quiet, and no one wants to tell people to quit having sex... So anyway, there it is.

By Katie1921 - 09/02/2016 02:52 - United States - New York

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

agreeclassic 26 331

vote type 1 1 824

Katie1921 app_comment_confession_title

Katie1921 4

Thursday 11 February 2016 3:33

Hi guys- OP here! To answer a few questions and concerns people have said- 1. I did not tell the girl's parents - I do not have a close relationship with them other than a few "hi"s and talking about the girl's homework, also I am a high school student myself and I do not know how to handle that situation at all 2. I knew she was masturbating because she stuck her hands down her pants a few times anddd... I'm not gonna go into details, but it was pretty obvious

By InDebt - 04/02/2016 04:47 - United States - Morgantown

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

agreeclassic 22 503

vote type 1 1 967

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

agreeclassic 24 034

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