OxenFree

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Dallas, United States
31 years-old
Monday 13 June 1994
single

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Fucked!

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Oxenfree's favorite FMLs

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 22/09/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

agreeclassic 44 350

vote type 1 17 174

By WTF, guys? - 26/08/2014 16:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

agreeclassic 46 485

vote type 1 4 177

By Anonymous - 23/07/2014 20:44 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

agreeclassic 57 886

vote type 1 5 083

By Pandamomma - 21/07/2014 12:58 - United States - Dunn

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

agreeclassic 57 112

vote type 1 7 259

Pandamomma app_comment_confession_title

Pandamomma 2

Monday 21 July 2014 19:38

hi. OP here. I said FML because I ended up having to apologize and act as if I was sincere. I failed miserably and ended up laughing hysterically. I did feel a little bad.

By Idk - 29/05/2014 06:46 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

agreeclassic 65 751

vote type 1 5 111