morbidcasper

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Morbidcasper's favorite FMLs

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

agreeclassic 46 328

vote type 1 29 275

Is this a joke?

By phantomdriver - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge… while we were crossing a river. FML

agreeclassic 45 616

vote type 1 3 685

Carpe diem

By Username - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

agreeclassic 40 609

vote type 1 12 018

By jeanstein - 23/03/2011 14:58

Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML

agreeclassic 34 558

vote type 1 3 218

By PFCdavila - 23/03/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

agreeclassic 13 396

vote type 1 46 361

PFCdavila app_comment_confession_title

PFCdavila 6

Friday 25 March 2011 4:27

it was my third double, back to back. i was a walking zombie. lol