Me me me Anonymous - 24/01/2026 20:00 Today, some old friends came to visit me after I had my first baby a few weeks ago. When the last friend, who has always been rather self-centered, arrived, she immediately announced her own pregnancy and talked of nothing else for the rest of her stay. FML 293 60
Is this another Tictac thing? Anonymous - 25/01/2026 00:00 Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML 409 56
One liner Anonymous - 23/01/2026 15:00 Today, I opened a new can of shaving cream. The moment I touched the top, the whole can emptied into my palm, and startled the crap outta me. I'm a whole lot more sympathetic to my first girlfriend now. FML 229 108
My house, anyone's rules Anonymous - 23/01/2026 22:00 Today, my parents moved my senile grandpa in with us, but he keeps yelling at me for gaming and sometimes just switches my computer off. This is my house, not theirs. I work remotely, I’m not gaming, and their unemployed asses can’t even watch him closely enough to keep him out of my home office. FML 465 82
Spurt Anonymous - 24/01/2026 00:00 Today, while I was trying to put my high fluoride toothpaste on my toothbrush, I miscalculated the pressure and ended up squirting a massive glob all over the bathroom cabinet and a rug that was on the floor. My stepmom says if we can't get the bleach stain out of the brown rug, I'm going to have to replace it. FML 138 249