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bigredmonkeybutt

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Melboune, FL, USA
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Sunday 31 March 1991

Bigredmonkeybutt

Bigredmonkeybutt -

Layscott

Pixiewolfe

Exaspera

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Bigredmonkeybutt

soundsfake...

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hung060694

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TheTshirt

Bigredmonkeybutt

Bigredmonkeybutt

Me me me

Anonymous - 24/01/2026 20:00

Today, some old friends came to visit me after I had my first baby a few weeks ago. When the last friend, who has always been rather self-centered, arrived, she immediately announced her own pregnancy and talked of nothing else for the rest of her stay. FML

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Is this another Tictac thing?

Anonymous - 25/01/2026 00:00

Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML

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One liner

Anonymous - 23/01/2026 15:00

Today, I opened a new can of shaving cream. The moment I touched the top, the whole can emptied into my palm, and startled the crap outta me. I'm a whole lot more sympathetic to my first girlfriend now. FML

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My house, anyone's rules

Anonymous - 23/01/2026 22:00

Today, my parents moved my senile grandpa in with us, but he keeps yelling at me for gaming and sometimes just switches my computer off. This is my house, not theirs. I work remotely, I’m not gaming, and their unemployed asses can’t even watch him closely enough to keep him out of my home office. FML

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Spurt

Anonymous - 24/01/2026 00:00

Today, while I was trying to put my high fluoride toothpaste on my toothbrush, I miscalculated the pressure and ended up squirting a massive glob all over the bathroom cabinet and a rug that was on the floor. My stepmom says if we can't get the bleach stain out of the brown rug, I'm going to have to replace it. FML

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