shorty931

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Shorty931's favorite FMLs

By frenchy - 06/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

agreeclassic 10 130

vote type 1 55 475

Quiet

By Anonymous - 07/08/2011 01:40 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year-old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

agreeclassic 40 684

vote type 1 11 523

So good it's bad

By kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

agreeclassic 44 500

vote type 1 10 320

By Summer_Jane - 03/02/2011 10:40 - United States

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

agreeclassic 45 184

vote type 1 4 514

Summer_Jane app_comment_confession_title

Summer_Jane 0

Friday 4 February 2011 19:01

Seriously - you guys rock. I laughed waaay too much reading all your comments. And for all you guys who were asking how did I not notice the pee? -- Yeah, I keep asking myself that, too. - It was one of those crazy patterned (ugly) cushioned chairs, so I couldn't tell it was damp. I_did_smell something, but doctors' offices have a lot of smells (as do elderly people...), so I didn't really think about it too much. But yeah...next time I'm assuming the worst.

By ccblock - 17/09/2010 01:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

agreeclassic 40 269

vote type 1 3 714