jalil_fml

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37 years-old
Wednesday 28 September 1988
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Jalil_fml's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 10/04/2012 17:47 - United States

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

agreeclassic 42 334

vote type 1 3 304

Who you gonna call?

By Baustigt - 10/04/2012 10:48 - Australia - Perth

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

agreeclassic 25 835

vote type 1 3 919

Hott

By purple - 24/03/2012 05:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

agreeclassic 33 213

vote type 1 12 438

By Lee - 10/04/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

agreeclassic 25 753

vote type 1 2 934

By ladylarni - 07/04/2013 08:20 - Australia

Today, my ex-husband officially became my stepdad. FML

agreeclassic 96 071

vote type 1 4 876