xdeadnotsleeping

miss

0
Followed

0
Followers

6
Badges!

7
Comments

558
Visits

46
Favorites

Somewhere, Gotham
35 years-old
Friday 29 June 1990
Not specified

A propos de Xdeadnotsleeping

I'm having an existential crisis because I dialed a wrong number and the man who answered asked me, "who is you?!"

Xdeadnotsleeping - Followers

Xdeadnotsleeping - Followed

Xdeadnotsleeping's page visits

lovers5201

ZelmaSlaye...

Fucked!

Xdeadnotsleeping's FML badges

2_badgename

2_badgedesc

24_badgename

24_badgedesc

10_badgename

10_badgedesc

9_badgename

9_badgedesc

3_badgename

3_badgedesc

16_badgename

16_badgedesc

47_badgename

47_badgedesc

48_badgename

48_badgedesc

49_badgename

49_badgedesc

45_badgename

45_badgedesc

44_badgename

44_badgedesc

15_badgename

15_badgedesc

14_badgename

14_badgedesc

13_badgename

13_badgedesc

6_badgename

6_badgedesc

5_badgename

5_badgedesc

4_badgename

4_badgedesc

61_badgename

61_badgedesc

badgeslisttofind

Xdeadnotsleeping's favorite FMLs

By tara22 - 27/04/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

agreeclassic 73 207

vote type 1 6 310

Stop right there

By wtfmama - 04/05/2013 12:51 - United States - Hudson

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

agreeclassic 74 205

vote type 1 11 254

By Shitty genes, no two ways about it. - 27/04/2013 00:21 - Australia - Perth

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

agreeclassic 45 093

vote type 1 6 281

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 15:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

agreeclassic 56 840

vote type 1 11 900

By Anonymous - 30/03/2013 05:23 - United States

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

agreeclassic 39 840

vote type 1 3 450