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    : 320



    Explosive

    Lolo - 25/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

    Today, I went to the library to study an upcoming exam. I sat in a quiet corner and was feeling focused. Suddenly, I sneezed so loudly that the entire library went silent. I could feel the stares of every student on me as I tried to pretend I didn’t just disrupt the entire study session. FML
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    No uncertain terms

    Andreww - 30/03/2025 06:00 - United States - Miami

    Today, I got broken up with yet again by my on-and-off ex-girlfriend. I had ended things with an amazing girl I was seeing just to go back to my ex. She'd made it clear that if things went wrong with my ex, I wasn't allowed to pursue her again. I tried to hit her up again anyway, but she told me to “take a short walk off a pier.” FML
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    Many such cases

    Anonymous - 06/04/2025 20:00 - Australia

    Today, I organised a birthday party for myself. There was supposed to be about 20 people coming. Not a single person showed up. FML
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    Preapproved

    Anonymous - 08/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Fresno

    Today, after saving for years, I was finally ready to buy a home. I found a decent place. I put in an offer. A hedge fund bought it 7 minutes later, for cash. FML
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    Always ready

    Anonymous - 13/04/2025 20:00 - Australia - Brisbane

    Today, I'm working remotely. Every morning at 8:30, all staff announces, "Morning, I'm online" in a chat app. I woke up two minutes before work began and accidentally typed, "Morning, I'm awake." The app showed two other staff members (including the boss) typing their messages then suddenly they stopped. They'd seen my message. FML
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    Authoritarian regime

    Anonymous - 22/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was detained by a security guard. I heard him trying to justify detaining me to his boss and it was basically, “She was eyeballing me, so I showed her who’s boss.” I'm now banned from the shop, which is a 30 yard walk from my home. My weekly shop is now a 4 mile drive away. FML
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    True believer

    No Prayer for Fools - 24/04/2025 09:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

    Today, my mom nagged us to biblical levels to prepare and repent for "The Big One", which is a magnitude 10 earthquake that will happen anytime today until June 10, 3:16am. She claims it was predicted by a Holy Force sent by God himself. Who? Some idiot TicToker who asks Alexa future predictions, mainly disasters. FML
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    Weird vibes

    Anonymous - 25/04/2025 22:00 - United States - New Orleans

    Today, I went to a party at a friend's place. I walked in and noticed everyone sitting quietly in a circle. I sat down, waited for the conversation to pick up, which is when I realized it was a "silent party", as in everyone had headphones on and was listening to music. I awkwardly left after 10 minutes of pretending I was having a great time. FML
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    Just doing my part

    Jimmy - 29/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Amarillo

    Today, I biked to work to save gas money and also to be as eco-friendly as I could. A freak April hailstorm pelted me so hard that my helmet cracked. Local news called it “just another Monday.” FML
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    Rough patch

    Jeff - 04/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

    Today, I was giving a speech at my best friend’s wedding. Mid-speech, I felt something was off. I looked down and realized I had a huge stain on my trousers. Not just a small stain, but a whole wet patch from crotch to knee. I had to finish the speech with one hand covering it. I later sniffed it, it was only champagne, but still… FML
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    Stop staring

    Anonymous - 06/05/2025 21:00 - China - Suzhou

    Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
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    Surely that's enough

    Anonymous - 17/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Warren

    Today, I was proud of myself for taking a break from my sedentary lifestyle to go to the gym 3 times a week (and have been doing so for awhile) and do cardio for 30 minutes on an exercise bike. It turns out that's less than the 5 times a day you're supposed to get 30 minutes of exercise. I'm off by 2 times a day. FML
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    Driving me mad

    Anonymous - 24/05/2025 12:00 - United States - San Diego

    Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML
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    Doggy drama

    Anonymous - 27/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, three days after my dog gave birth to her puppies, she actually picked them up and brought them to me. I thought it meant she trusted me with them. Nope. She was saying, "Here, they’re your problem now" because she hasn’t let them near her since, even to feed them. FML
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    Some people would be over the moon

    Allie - 29/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my husband has lost over a hundred pounds. I'm happy for him, but now he has an incredibly high sex drive and keeps asking for sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. FML
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    Nice try

    Anonymous - 31/05/2025 08:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

    Today, to get back at my ex, I told him he couldn't see our kids until he pays back the money he owes me. Little did I know, he'd secretly recorded our conversation and now I might lost custody of my kids for "parental alienation." FML
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    Long haul

    Anonymous - 03/06/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, I’ve had an irregular period my whole life. I was on birth control and took out my IUD in January. I’ve had my period ever since. It’s going on 5 months now. FML
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    Status unclear

    Anonymous - 05/06/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Frameries

    Today, my fiancée asked for a threesome. I don't want it. I think I'm now single. FML
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    Blowback

    Bleh! - 07/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

    Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
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    Some fans take it too far

    Anonymous - 12/06/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, I finally figured out what two kids in my neighborhood have been yelling for what seems like the past month. I don't know where they are exactly, so my efforts to get them to knock it off has almost made me go insane, all from hearing them yell "CHICKEN JOCKEY!" over and over again. FML
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    Careless words

    Kilamo - 16/06/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, after burying my dad on my birthday, one of my aunts walked up to me and said, "Well at least you won't forget your birthday." I wanted to cuss her out so bad, like, bitch, how would I forget my birthday and the day I buried my dad? FML
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    Home sweet home

    Enough - 20/06/2025 01:00 - Romania

    Today, when I got home from the store, the dog was wiping his ass on the carpet, my two older boys were brawling, my youngest was crying because he'd broken a glass and cut himself, and my husband was in the kitchen, eating the cake I'd told him to leave alone. FML
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    Admiral Ackbar didn't warn you?

    Anonymous - 23/06/2025 06:00 - United States - Santa Cruz

    Today, I was stalking my crush's sister's account and I checked her family highlight. Little did I know, she had my ass out for a treat. Tell me why I felt like those cartoon rats falling into those mouse trap. SHE HAD A HIGHLIGHT TRAP! My crush ended up texting me, "Are you stalking my sister?" FML
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    Thanks, I hate it

    billie - 27/06/2025 03:00 - Canada

    Today, a stranger told me, “You have a great personality!” I thought it was a sweet compliment until they added, “…because your face could absolutely use some work.” FML
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    RIP to a real one

    ohnooooo - 28/06/2025 22:00 - Luxembourg

    Today, it's the 11th anniversary of my dog's adoption, who died a few months ago. I miss her and can’t stop crying. I’m very sick and don’t know if I’ll ever be fit to have a dog again. Loneliness sucks big time. FML
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    It's not just stuff

    Anonymous - 07/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my almost-mother-in-law demanded I give my engagement ring back because it was originally her great-grandmother's, and she has now decided she wants it to go to her youngest son’s fiancée instead. My fiancé agreed and told me he’d just buy me another. He doesn’t get why I’m so upset either. FML
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    Don't bite off more than you can chew

    What do I do? - 09/07/2025 15:00 - Germany - Berlin

    Today, and for sometime, my husband and I have been discussing owning a home - a house or an apartment or other options. I've always wanted to live in a house, but I'm 100% sure I can't keep up with the chores or keep it clean. An apartment I can manage to clean, but not a house. I told him my vote is for apartment. FML
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    Get back here

    Dog the bounty hunter - 11/07/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML
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    Undisclosed annoyance

    Hdbelle - 12/07/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML
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    Don't threaten me with a good time

    Anonymous - 14/07/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I received a package in the mail from a guy, with no warning. He then blocked me. It was a strap on. What do I even do with this thing now? FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML
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    Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
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    Today, I got to experience the rare pleasure of overhearing my divorcing parents admit that neither of them want full custody of me, or even shared custody, and then planning to guilt one of my grandparents into accepting custody instead. God I hate them both. FML
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    Today, I get a scornful look when I try to talk to my husband, let alone try to cheer him up, because he is "severely depressed." Well, unless a friend or neighbor knocks on the door, then he’s the life of the party. Right until they leave. FML
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    Today, my coworkers surprised me with a birthday cake. It was really sweet, until I realized it was for another “Chris” who works in accounting. They only noticed after I blew out the candles. FML
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    Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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