Your everyday life stories

The Voice

Barney - 22/06/2025 22:00 - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, I was alone in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I started singing along to my favorite song when it came on my playlist. However, unbeknownst to me, my neighbors were having a barbecue next door, and they cheered and applauded when I'd finished. I’m never singing again. FML

317

180

Numerophobia

Anonymous - 26/06/2025 12:00 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, my coworkers quietly ditched the project I spent months working on, because typing in numbers into a website "is too hard." Our boss is out, so I have no recourse. Why do I bother? These people hate numbers. FML

357

Corporate stooge

Anonymous - 29/06/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell a bald cancer patient that no, having cancer did not entitle her to a 100% discount on coffee. I felt like a douche for saying it, but I work at a well known coffee franchise and I’m not losing my job because someone wants free coffee, no matter how ill they are. FML

517

Never say never

Haley - 03/07/2025 10:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I’ve become obsessed with Fortnite, like, all I think about is Fortnite. Since Fortnite came out, I'd always said, “That’s such a bad game, it’s so stupid, I’m never playing that.” Now, it’s June 2025, I only started playing in March of this year, and I’ve even become better than my boyfriend who’s been playing for years. FML

102

451

Where is it?

Anonymous - 07/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my brother is a brain-dead moron, he let my ex into my house with his spare key so she could “just grab something.” I am now obsessively checking my entire house because last time she got in she put itching powder on every fabric item. Clothes, beds, carpets, towels, pillows, and rugs. FML

518

100

Prank off

I may also need a Tetanus shot - 08/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML

468

Himbo

Anonymous - 12/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym to do squats. I couldn't even do it without weights on the squatting bar because it hurt too much to rest it on my back and neck. Then my friend who was with me and who is skinny as a rail easily managed it with two 45 pound weights. He claims it's from practice. I guess I’m wimpy. FML

115

390

Memory hole

Anonymous - 17/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I spent an hour trying to log into my work email. I apparently kept typing the wrong password and eventually got locked out for 24 hours. My boss texted me five minutes later asking why I wasn’t responding to his emails. FML

135

314

Challenge accepted

WHY would you do that - 19/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my husband "challenged" my daughter: if she could eat a whole raw onion, she could stay up as late as she wanted. I now have an onion with a whole bunch of little bites taken out, a pile of stinking onion puke, a crying daughter, and a husband laughing like a hyena. FML

507

129

It's all too much

Anonymous - 21/07/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my car crapped out in the middle of the road, after over a year of only being able to find short contract jobs, all while juggling the grief of the back to back deaths of my mother and grandfather. FML

455

Pervs!

Ew you freaks - 26/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I was taking my daughter to the hotel pool, and she was excited so she ran ahead to the door to the stairs, I heard her scream so I went running. When I opened the door, a man was getting a blowjob from another man, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER! FML

483

Slapstick

That Dumbass Friend - 28/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I laughed at my friend for tripping on the sidewalk. While imitating him to show “how stupid" he looked, I stepped on the exact same sidewalk, twisted my ankle, and fell over in front of a bunch of strangers. FML

845

Another speech bites the dust

Worst man - 01/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I gave a speech at my friend’s wedding. I spent weeks perfecting it, making sure it was funny but heartfelt. When I finished, I dropped the mic dramatically. It bounced off the table, hit the best man in the face, and the cable knocked his drink all over the bride’s dress. FML

131

717

Teamwork

Bad impression - 02/08/2025 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I joined a group chat with new coworkers. Trying to be funny, I wrote, “What is this bunch of weirdos up to?” My big boss, who I hadn't noticed was in the chat members, responded, “This is your direct supervisor speaking.” I left the chat. FML

528

Bad connexion

Anonymous - 04/08/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for his birthday, I bought my son the Xbox game he wanted. Seven hours for the game to install, two hours to download, then install an update, which failed twice and had to be restarted. He was a nightmare all afternoon waiting for it, then it was bedtime and the game still wasn’t ready. FML

477

152

Sorry

Chelsea - 08/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, on my way out to go on vacation, I set up an out-of-office auto-reply on my work email, which said: “Gone fishing. Don’t bother me unless someone dies.” The first person to receive it was a client whose grandfather had just passed away. He wasn't best pleased, judging by the angry email he sent in response. FML

121

667

Take it seriously

Debora - 09/08/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, during a virtual class, I thought I was muted and said, “I’m gonna fake a technical issue and take a nap.” The professor responded, “Let us know how the nap goes.” I never logged back in. FML

680

Are you OK my dude?

Hell naw - 13/08/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I got into my car in the parking lot, or at least I thought I did. I sat down, buckled up, and only noticed something was off when a guy walked over from the shopping trolley carousel, opened the passenger door and said, “Can I help you?” Same car model, wrong car. FML

335

132

Local dog catcher

Anonymous - 17/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I saw what I thought was my neighbor’s dog running loose down the street. I chased him for a full block, shouting, “Buster! Come here, buddy!” I finally caught him, only for an angry stranger to yell, “That’s my dog! And his name is Kevin!” FML

349

136

Can't take my eyes off you

Anonymous - 20/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, while changing into shorts because it’s scorching hot here, my four year-old found a jar of my Dad's ashes. I came out to see her feet prints in it on the kitchen floor. She'd dumped the whole jar out and was playing in it. FML

440

203

Isn't it one inch?

Anonymous - 24/08/2025 02:00

Today, we were watching old Kung Fu movies and I said how ridiculous the two inch punch was. My dad claimed he taught it to himself years ago, so like an idiot I dared him to prove it. Two inches later I was across the room gasping for breath. I guess it’s real then. FML

518

Six feet under

Anonymous - 25/08/2025 21:00

Today, on my first day driving a hearse, I took a wrong turn and of course every car behind followed me. Out of pure habit I had turned right into the main street as though I was driving home, when I should've turned left. At least my wife got to see me from the window as I drove past the house. FML

179

357

Nice try

GregIsGreg - 29/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML

497

Life sucks

Anonymous - 01/09/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, somewhere along the way, I became the woman who goes to the Asda in a dressing gown with no bra after dropping my kids off at their dad's house, because life is shit, and my self respect have dropped that low. FML

309

190

New tech

Anonymous - 05/09/2025 15:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I spent five minutes trying to figure out how to use a new machine at my gym. I finally gave up, muttered, “Screw this thing,” and walked away. A staff member came over, tapped the “ON” button, and the whole thing lit up. He’d been watching the entire time. FML

245

332

Enough!

Anonymous - 08/09/2025 11:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to put my kids to bed but my husband kept riling them up with yelling, wrestling, etc. By the time we actually got them to bed I was exhausted. His ass had the nerve to throw a fit because I was too tired for sex. Why does he think I was trying to get them to sleep?! FML

288

103

Let it go

Anonymous - 10/09/2025 20:00

Today, while my nephews got ready for school, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom to ask me if he could accompany us to the bus stop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my diarrhea anymore. As he was asking, I began to loudly relieve myself. He looked at me in shock and just said, “Oh okay, I’ll fuck off now.” FML

358

Party time!

Anonymous - 12/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I surprised my friend at their birthday party with a confetti cannon. I pulled the string, expecting colorful joy. Instead, it misfired, launched backwards and smacked me in the forehead. The confetti came out five seconds later, directly onto my dazed head. FML

162

289

Cool moves, dude

Anonymous - 14/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML

136

309

One thing after the other

Anonymous - 16/09/2025 00:00

Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML

453

102

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

117 976

9 701

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

44 218

4 476

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

22 237

2 774

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

35 539

3 334

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

27 949

2 021

Today, I was put on a medication for severe migraines. One of the side effects is difficulty concentrating and word recall. I was writing a paper and sat there trying to remember how to spell "isn't." This medication better work. FML

1 189

116