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BURNED

By Sarah - 19/12/2025 09:00

Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 308

PERVERTS!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 20:00

Today, my dad decided that the opportunity to screw his new girlfriend in a church cemetery in daylight hours was more important than being on time to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 69

Nice

By Screwed - 28/12/2025 03:00

Today, I'm diagnosed with a terminal liver cancer. I live abroad, away from my family, so I called them and asked them to come visit me, possibly for the last time. I even offered to pay for the travel both ways. The mother, with a quite indifferent tone, declined my offer and hung up the fuckin' phone on me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 75

Lemons

By Leah Magers - 29/12/2025 22:00

Today, my husband and I were finally about to put our house on market because we have killed our savings on moving and two mortgages for the past couple of months. Then the pipes burst. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 60

Not great

By poopsquirt404 - 06/01/2026 00:00

Today, my friend and I flew home from India ten days early. I got cholera and she got groped twice and followed back to our accommodations by a gang of men. So much for our exotic overseas trip… FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 216

Foot in mouth

By Anonymous - 30/12/2025 00:00

Today, I made an offhand comment to a close friend about having to keep a close eye on my toddler so he “doesn’t kill himself.” As the words escaped my lips, I realized that this was the same friend whose husband shot himself in the face five months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 235

Femboys are where it's at

By Sex isn't great anyway - 02/01/2026 15:00

Today, I found out that my husband hasn't wanted sex because he's been fucking the feminine gay guy he works with. I could divorce him, but I like not getting constantly bothered for sex, and I don't want to deal with the stress of divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 192

Dunning-Kruger

By Steve - 04/01/2026 09:00

Today, I confidently corrected someone in a group conversation. I was wrong. Very wrong. Everyone stared while Google proved me incorrect in seconds. I nodded and pretended I meant something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 543

I'm confuddled

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 03:00

Today, I once again tried to purchase a membership for a hiking adventure club. I ended up purchasing the same annual membership for the third time. They have already helped me recover my funds once. These people are never going to want to go hiking with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 426

Quality time

By Fourth, EWWW!!! - 16/01/2026 22:00

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted him to watch The Handmaid's Tale with me. He snorted and said, "Nah, I'd rather not watch your rape fantasy show." First of all, ew. Second of all, how is this show a fantasy? It's horrifying. Third of all, EW! FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 144

TGIF

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 15:00

Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 370

Yay, Christmas! It's the most wonderful time of the year!

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 09:00

Today, I loved my girlfriend so much until she broke up with me right before Christmas, I was sad but, I understood. I would always vent to my bestie of 5 years and she said I was being too dramatic, and I wasn't even supposed to feel sad about it. I've spent Christmas being depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 98

Close call

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 00:00

Today, I slipped on a wet floor in the grocery store. Instead of falling gracefully or quickly, I windmilled my arms for a few seconds while making direct eye contact with a toddler who looked genuinely impressed. I didn’t fall, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 89

Merry ******* Christmass

By Joanne85 - 24/12/2025 22:00

Today, I volunteered to host Christmas dinner for the first time. I forgot to thaw the turkey. We ate sides, wine, and sat in disappointment while the turkey slowly defrosted in the sink. I'm never doing this again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 465

Stylish

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 12:00

Today, I wore my favorite light coat to brunch. Halfway in, someone bumped my arm and a long smear of lipstick appeared across the sleeve, matching the napkin I’d earlier used to dab my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 102

Everyone's an expert

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 03:00

Today, and for this past week, I've had multiple people tell me all I needed to do to cure my incredibly rare chronic illnesses was some essential oils. Putting those 'medications' aren’t going to do anything. They then proceeded to give me more advice on how to treat a kidney transplant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 62

Remote

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 00:00

Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 66

The DIY trap

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to save money by fixing a leaky sink myself. Fifteen minutes and three tools later, I had flooded under-sink cabinets and a new appreciation for plumbers. My landlord arrived with a wrench and a look that said ‘you’ll learn.’ I learned to call professionals first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 385

Work is a four-letter word

By Anonymous - 02/01/2026 22:00

Today, I am so paranoid from being bullied at work, I need time off. But because of the bullying, I am too paranoid to take leave. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 145

Third wheel

By sammy - 11/01/2026 20:00

Today, and since 2026 started, my two friends began liking each other and I'm very happy for them. The problem? They get so close (literally and figuratively) that they do things that make me feel left out (both subjectively and objectively). Everyone says it's normal, but when I was in love I never did that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 253

Get back here

By JANES - 18/12/2025 03:00

Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 73

I'm fine, I swear

By Duped - 06/01/2026 15:00

Today, I realized the reason my neighbor keeps smiling awkwardly at me is because I’ve been waving enthusiastically at their security camera every morning, thinking it was a motion-activated light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 341

Nice try

By Not a thief!! - 11/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 486

I don't want to know

By Anonymous - 13/01/2026 20:00

Today, I overheard my parents talking. It went something like “Walk it off, you’ll be fine”, “I will not be fine, it’s leaking”, “Well sit on a towel then”, “A man should not squish when he sits”, “Remember that next time you think about doing it to me.” I dread to think what was leaking out of my dad, or where. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 48

Walmart's got talent

By lost in music - 21/12/2025 20:00

Today, I wore my new noise-canceling ear buds in a grocery store and nodded along, getting into the groove. When I took them off at checkout, the cashier asked who I was talking to. I realized I’d been quietly singing to myself ASMR-style while making intense eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 397

Good comeback

By Juice Ko Day! - 27/12/2025 03:00

Today, three minutes into on our Christmas Family Reunion, I got kicked out and now probably permanently. What did I do? My aunt, who NEVER FAILS to do this, did loudly the, "Wow! You've gotten fat!" greeting on me, whereas I responded with an even louder, "And WOW! You've gotten even uglier!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 109

My finest hour

By Christine - 01/01/2026 12:00

Today, I slipped while getting off a bus and caught myself dramatically on the handrail. As I spun around like a stripper, the bus driver stared as if I’d performed a stunt. I nodded like it was planned and walked away, limping slightly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 77

Pucker up

By It feels fucking awful - 18/12/2025 12:00

Today, on a whim, I decided to try to light a fart on fire. I now know how it feels to take a dump when you have a burn directly on your asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 644

Enjoy yourself

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 12:00

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees, and her cruise ship fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 72

Beep beep beep beep

By HateCelebz - 30/12/2025 20:00

Today, I made Christmas dinner. I live in a block of flats, and I was cooking for two hours. The smoke alarm went off after 10 minutes, but it's so high up that I couldn't reach it to turn it off, so I had to fan it off every five minutes, then five minutes later it would go off again, and so on. The neighbors complained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 355

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The Top

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 463

You deserved it 4 794

Today, I asked my fiancee to drive me to the airport for a business trip in a few days. She ranted angrily that she already had plans, so I asked my mom to take me instead. Now she's pissed and saying, "Why don't you just go marry your mommy, since she does everything for you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 101

Today, I offered to help my 15 year-old nephew with taking care of his newborn baby. First thing I see when I enter his room is him playing Mario Kart on his Nintendo Switch, and his child with a full diaper, screaming and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 204

Today, I was feeling saucy so I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. He then set it as his laptop's desktop screen, took a picture, then sent to me saying, "Hmm, should probably change this before Monday", only he didn't send it me, he sent to his family group chat with his mum and sisters and didn't realise. Everyone saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 452

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying, "Yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 363

You deserved it 47 817

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 226

You deserved it 4 807