Intimacy: Warrior - FML

Warrior

By Anonymous - 21/09/2015 13:00 - United States - Grand Junction

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

agreeclassic 30 636

vote type 1 3 316

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

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Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

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Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

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Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

The_Bengineer 13

Monday 21 September 2015 18:30

Sounds hot.

datkenna 20

Monday 21 September 2015 18:48

Who drinks coffee during sex

Comments

XDemetriX 3

Wednesday 23 September 2015 21:01

Soo....coffee + ******** time?

wildmouse 11

Thursday 24 September 2015 23:36

haha I'd do that

Kappikorie 9

Saturday 26 September 2015 5:17

I've had an alcoholic for a boyfriend and he would always drink his beer during sex it was the most annoying and upsetting thing ever!

ballerballerina 5

Saturday 26 December 2015 7:47

...Maybe it was a twist on hot wax?

cristy16 2

Thursday 21 April 2016 6:33

probably the only time he'd get you to scream.

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Today, I went to pick up my long-distance boyfriend at the airport. It has been over six months since I last saw him and four days since I last heard from him. He never showed up. FML

agreeclassic 2 691

vote type 1 420

Today, at the one job interview I got after months of applying, I was rejected for what turned out to be a phone customer service role, because I "wasn't technical enough." Previously I worked as a website developer and I have a computer science degree. FML

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Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

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Today, at a time when dating app usage is at an all time high, in 3 months I've only managed 4 likes and one brief match on Bumble. I'm not terrible looking by any means, yet I'm weeks away from my 8-year anniversary of being single. Am I cursed or something? FML

agreeclassic 1 509

vote type 1 249

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

agreeclassic 41 678

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Today, one of my clients called me, saying that he received my email. When I asked what I could do for him, he replied, “Well, what does the email say?” FML

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