Wake Up Call - FML

Wake Up Call

By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00

The most frustrating sound ever.

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 90

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Donut_Wizard 23

Saturday 7 October 2017 4:05

This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.

Comments

Donut_Wizard 23

Saturday 7 October 2017 4:05

This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Delivery Food Family Awkward Parents Coworkers Love Religion Scams Health Doctor Embarrassing Cars Work Transportation Money Kids Marriage Weddings Gross Instagram Proposal Social Media AITA Cheating Parenting Annoying Birthday Periods

The Top

The Top

Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 067

You deserved it 5 459

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 642

You deserved it 3 250

Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 232

You deserved it 1 807

Today I volunteered to organize the office Secret Santa. I carefully tracked names, budgets and preferences. On gift day, I realized I’d emailed the spreadsheet to everyone. People now know who hates mugs, who regifted last year, and who wrote “Anything but candles.” Our Christmas spirit died pretty darned quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 471

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 107

You deserved it 3 572

Today, the girl I've been seeing for two months and with whom I'm in love with, asked me, whilst she's on holiday celebrating her birthday, whether I would pay for a male escort for her as a birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 156