Miscellaneous: Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson...

By anonymous - 19/02/2015 16:06 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML

agreeclassic 29 761

vote type 1 3 274

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Many such cases

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 11:00 - Canada - Eastern Passage

Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML

agreeclassic 388

vote type 1 115

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

agreeclassic 24 679

vote type 1 5 485

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

agreeclassic 34 843

vote type 1 7 675

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

agreeclassic 12 024

vote type 1 97 633

By SmellyLeg - 20/11/2017 15:00

Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML

agreeclassic 3 337

vote type 1 326

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

agreeclassic 42 830

vote type 1 4 132

Surprise!

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

agreeclassic 8 631

vote type 1 653

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

agreeclassic 53 406

vote type 1 4 666

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

agreeclassic 485

vote type 1 146

Whoops

By ER1C - 16/05/2016 12:35 - Canada

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

agreeclassic 13 502

vote type 1 1 218

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 20 February 2015 0:11

Change of plans. Time to teach about situational irony.

WattledParsley 11

Friday 20 February 2015 0:27

Everyone else

Comments

ozzwalrus 14

Friday 20 February 2015 5:07

Thats ruff

jenny_sykes 14

Friday 20 February 2015 5:33

so much irony in one sentence .

ninjaCow18 11

Friday 20 February 2015 6:39

The single most British way to write that story possible.

Blake77_fml 19

Friday 20 February 2015 11:53

Incoming shitty situation puns

britbrat237 14

Friday 20 February 2015 19:44

The irony lol

BlobfishUnite 14

Friday 20 February 2015 19:45

Smash Bros. Brawl reference!

muzy 23

Friday 20 February 2015 21:23

This is the first time that I've seen a FML that originated from my city. For some reason I feel very privileged!

Flyndaran 10

Saturday 21 February 2015 5:44

Sweet. Free Show And Tell.

ihaveasushicat 24

Saturday 21 February 2015 21:46

Just one single dog turd...?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

agreeclassic 30 179

vote type 1 8 426

Today, my fiancé told me that he expects me to agree to quit my job to cook and clean after we get married, or he will not show up at our wedding. He earns minimum wage and my salary is 17 times higher than his. FML

agreeclassic 2 941

vote type 1 574

Today, it's raining pretty hard and there are a bunch of puddles everywhere. I’m in a full rain suit and great boots, so instead of walking around the puddles, I decided to walk through the biggest one, only to drop down 4 feet, all because the city didn’t cover up a massive manhole. FML

agreeclassic 2 477

vote type 1 1 015

Today, I just got home from a wedding and cried for about two straight hours. The bride was my widowed stepmother and the groom was my ex boyfriend. We only split up four months ago. FML

agreeclassic 1 479

vote type 1 171

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

agreeclassic 28 246

vote type 1 3 050

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

agreeclassic 54 959

vote type 1 9 372