Intimacy: Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many... - FML

By robotchickens - 10/03/2010 19:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

agreeclassic 26 208

vote type 1 2 712

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By flowerchildd2 - 12/12/2011 23:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

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By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

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By annabellatrix - 14/09/2015 18:20 - Hungary

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Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 22:00

Spicy

Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your vagina." FML

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By Anonymous - 11/06/2015 21:20 - United States - Helena

Spicy

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

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By missprude666 - 19/01/2012 08:32 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

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By pokeballbra - 17/10/2011 05:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML

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By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

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Thanks for sharing

By uni life - 15/05/2012 08:08 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

aardvarkish 16

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:26

I'm all ears

KaylynKicks 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:26

oooooo sexy! what a turn on

Comments

movies12 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:52

haha. The old man must of been gay, because it says your a guy!! I would of freaked out.

Miss_SD 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:52

ur an idiot tell the guy to shut up and it's done with. I don't play into this poor me crap.

DeeBizz 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:56

what's an orifice

FMLrockzdude 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:58

sorry when I saw u I just started blurting things out... please don't call da cops

quikwit1212 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:01

^ And I guess we don't know what you look like, because you don't have a pic. of anything at all. Granted, mine is a panda, but it's just to brighten people's days.

strongbad1907 5

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:03

and let me guess you're a guy too.

bunny911 16

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:31

um yes in case you didn't notice

benners 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:12

you probably taste good

KurouTenshi 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:25

Lucky~!!

FockinA 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:40

probably an ex-priest. stay away or become religious. lol

DontHateOnSnicke 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:41

.... and im a guy. FML.

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Today, my boyfriend asked why I’ve been so grumpy lately. When I told him it’s because our relationship has been severely lacking in intimacy, he sighed heavily and said, “Ugh, fine, let’s just get it over with!” Gee, thanks babe. FML

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Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML

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Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

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Today, my 19-year-old daughter got a haircut. When I asked her if she tipped the hairdresser, she looked at me in horror and asked, "You’re supposed to tip hairdressers?" FML

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Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

agreeclassic 62 576

vote type 1 12 432