Kids: Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit...

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

agreeclassic 39 197

vote type 1 3 239

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By alostr1 - 06/02/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

agreeclassic 35 541

vote type 1 2 500

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

agreeclassic 23 521

vote type 1 1 994

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

agreeclassic 14 021

vote type 1 28 657

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

agreeclassic 2 006

vote type 1 177

By adeeri - 04/09/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

agreeclassic 36 310

vote type 1 3 230

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

agreeclassic 27 626

vote type 1 3 180

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

agreeclassic 48 051

vote type 1 6 864

By PiZzA_FaCe - 29/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

agreeclassic 52 350

vote type 1 5 283

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

agreeclassic 73 303

vote type 1 3 562

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

agreeclassic 29 976

vote type 1 9 922

ciarafox9 9

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:13

It's like a double rainbow..

NEEPLES 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:16

Be careful. I heard that species can have rabies.

Comments

Sweet_Lemonade 4

Friday 28 October 2011 20:10

Send the doctor's bill to the mother

sfabsits 5

Saturday 29 October 2011 5:32

Now You Are going to Have to play one on him and act like you are going to be sick!!

caity878 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 7:22

Little kids are like retarded midgets....

RedCamaro10 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 0:33

Should've kicked it.

glitterpoop 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:47

That mustve been the best ever thing to watch.

footcheezeez 16

Friday 11 November 2011 0:33

LOL Glitterpoop

sc599cordero 0

Monday 31 October 2011 2:15

Lol fuunny

chappo96 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 13:53

Wow that must of really had to suck haha

A7X2012 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 11:25

Morale if the store dont yell

zfchatroulette 24

Saturday 19 January 2013 21:45

*Moral of the story: Don't yell.

Irakli_1 27

Sunday 29 January 2012 15:26

I'd spank the hell outta that kid.

Mattpig 15

Monday 20 February 2012 10:10

YDI for working at a day care

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Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounded a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

agreeclassic 29 764

vote type 1 7 018

Today, I literally caught my husband with his prick in another woman’s mouth and he had the nerve, the actual nerve, to tell me, "It’s not what it looks like, babe", all while trying to stuff his lipstick-coated knob back in his pants. CRETIN. IDIOT. CHEATING SCUM. FML

agreeclassic 967

vote type 1 201

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

agreeclassic 17 868

vote type 1 54 920

Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML

agreeclassic 21 995

vote type 1 1 429

Today, I took my regular shit, like clockwork. Same time, every single day. Unfortunately, that time is midnight. FML

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Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

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vote type 1 4 843

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