Love: Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff...

By nickw177 - 22/10/2012 01:21 - United States

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

agreeclassic 14 312

vote type 1 20 765

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By Hellassi - 09/07/2021 00:01

Today, my stepmom burned all my Harry Potter stuff. Apparently, Harry Potter is the "Devil’s plan to corrupt good Christian children" and "That shit is make believe anyway." What did my dad ever see in this evil witch? FML

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By Nate - 12/01/2012 05:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

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By expectopatronum bitch! - 25/04/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, my brother-in-law brought his new girlfriend over to meet the family. Things went south real quick after she went on a tirade about what terrible parents my wife and I are for letting our kids keep all their Harry Potter memorabilia. Now he’s mad I threw her out. FML

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By harrysolo - 19/07/2009 01:26 - United States

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

agreeclassic 31 581

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By notabeliever - 29/07/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

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Foreshadowing is a literary device…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 23:00

Today, I told my wife I wanted to reconnect with my religion. She told me that if I wanted to I could, but to expect divorce papers when I got back because she doesn’t intend to be married to one of those boring ass religious nut jobs ruining her Sunday mornings. FML

agreeclassic 372

vote type 1 807

By MrOh - 09/08/2011 17:29 - Canada

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

agreeclassic 39 684

vote type 1 4 525

By Jill - 15/06/2013 04:19 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

agreeclassic 53 377

vote type 1 22 769

By Avery - 24/03/2012 20:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

agreeclassic 9 560

vote type 1 30 027

By Dumbfounded - 08/08/2012 23:03 - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

agreeclassic 34 404

vote type 1 3 975

ninjawatcher 2

Monday 22 October 2012 9:00

Now I want to know what religion.

MisterDoctor 12

Monday 22 October 2012 9:10

Do you solemnly swear that she's up to no good?

Comments

Adamantablade 8

Friday 4 July 2014 3:41

What is the difference?

zharks1010 18

Saturday 25 April 2015 23:47

How the **** does he deserve it?

krakenbanana 15

Saturday 30 January 2016 7:02

There not that far apart right?

Farklez 23

Wednesday 6 April 2016 1:55

All the moronic HP fans saying YDI need to reexamine their life.

dogestuffup 11

Tuesday 24 May 2016 11:11

Harry Christ much?

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Today, my mom is threatening to disinherit me because I won’t have a baby. I have three siblings who between them have seven kids for her to obsess over, yet she calls at least once a week and always tries to convince me to get pregnant. Fuck off mom. FML

agreeclassic 1 379

vote type 1 135

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

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Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

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Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

agreeclassic 17 248

vote type 1 51 257

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

agreeclassic 22 193

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Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

agreeclassic 49 903

vote type 1 10 911

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