Love: Today, my mistress called my wife on the phone. FML

hmm... no sex for you tonight, good thing she didbt glue yur dick to your leg. you dont deserve either one of them, theyre too good for you. and ur stupid, what else would she have called her on? YDI, asshole.

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Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML

agreeclassic 301

vote type 1 1 140

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

agreeclassic 24 930

vote type 1 2 400

Today, I found out that I'm not getting a new position I applied for at my company. Now, I have to continue working for my boss, who recently severely criticized my spelling in my reports, only they weren't my reports, and when I pointed this out, she simply never responded. FML

agreeclassic 978

vote type 1 101

Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML

agreeclassic 10 939

vote type 1 783

Today, I arrived at the house we rented for my sister's engagement party. I was also told that I have to sleep in the most cramped bedroom with my uncle, who sounds like a mortally wounded warthog when he snores. I paid for the rental. FML

agreeclassic 3 051

vote type 1 311

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

agreeclassic 42 297

vote type 1 22 356