Health: Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood... - FML

By AmySweet - 18/08/2011 21:41 - United States

Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML

agreeclassic 34 516

vote type 1 4 641

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By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 21:57 - United States - Spring Valley

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By Cupcakes - 15/04/2013 05:11 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

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By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/02/2012 19:55 - Canada

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

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By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

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By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 20:36 - United Kingdom - Dunfermline

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

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By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

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By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

ciarafox9 9

Friday 19 August 2011 2:19

My mouth was watering reading this..

Mirorbo 26

Friday 19 August 2011 2:20

....Must I point out the obvious? Your husband is a dick...

Comments

Mimitrixie 11

Tuesday 23 April 2013 13:08

What an asshole!

2013bchan41 20

Friday 10 May 2013 14:43

Buy 12 and eat them in front of him

erikav9669 11

Friday 24 May 2013 8:58

I know how you feel, I'm seven months pregnant and my fatass boyfriend always takes my food.

autumn1937 6

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:40

Divorce his ass, raise the baby on your own. You don't want your child to turn into an asshole like your husband.

willliamfriend 18

Sunday 23 November 2014 23:24

Sounds like my parents.

CougeeSwagg 19

Saturday 20 December 2014 0:19

What an ass. Why didn't he buy two?

FireandLight 6

Sunday 21 December 2014 4:58

Attack him. He can't blame you cause your pregnant.

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Today, I work at a doggy day care. Employees are not allowed to leave the dogs unsupervised for any reason. So while I was alone in a yard, my stomach decided that it would be the perfect time to empty itself. Because I didn’t want to lose my job, I puked in front of everyone. FML

agreeclassic 947

vote type 1 109

Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

agreeclassic 15 171

vote type 1 52 214

Today, my son broke up with his fourth girlfriend in a row, because, “all of them get those period things and it’s annoying as fuck.” He’s 20. FML

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vote type 1 587

Today, not only did my horse step on my foot & refuse to move, he also took the opportunity to crap on my other foot while I was incapable of moving. FML

agreeclassic 2 620

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Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML

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Today, I peed myself pretty bad while waiting for the elevator in my boyfriend’s luxury apartment building, and there was a camera. I ran away, but I was afraid my boyfriend would get fined if I left it, so I tried my best to clean it but I feel like such an idiot now. I really hope they don’t check the camera footage. FML

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