Love: Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers...

By poopcoloredeyes - 31/10/2011 20:06 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

agreeclassic 38 223

vote type 1 3 696

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Woof

By Anonymous - 03/04/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green…" I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with, "…ya know, like a dog." FML

agreeclassic 61 013

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By shitty situation - 28/01/2013 23:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

agreeclassic 26 009

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By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 22:41 - United States - Lihue

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

agreeclassic 48 796

vote type 1 7 726

Thanks

By lucy_g - 02/11/2013 05:06 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

agreeclassic 45 160

vote type 1 7 310

By pubemilkshake - 08/12/2014 02:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

agreeclassic 41 880

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By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML

agreeclassic 2 221

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Well Played

By redhead - 06/07/2017 22:30 - United States - Lima

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years is dating another girl. Not only do she and I share the same hair and eye color, but we also happen to have the same first name. FML

agreeclassic 6 426

vote type 1 431

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

agreeclassic 20 659

vote type 1 6 681

Smooth talker

By Kate - 07/03/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

agreeclassic 65 790

vote type 1 8 269

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

agreeclassic 31 696

vote type 1 4 707

SexyHindu 2

Monday 31 October 2011 21:57

What the hell does he put in his salad?

ShakeMeDown 12

Monday 31 October 2011 22:00

Eyes.

Comments

SammiJS121 0

Monday 14 November 2011 22:27

"Love you too, Hun."

polkadot88 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 6:51

That's just cruel....

BoLallie 2

Tuesday 15 May 2012 18:53

So, I'm guessing green?

BoLallie 2

Wednesday 16 May 2012 16:59

So, I'm guessing green?

trahelion 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 10:13

I dub thee poopeye the sailor woman!

C0N71NG3NCY 6

Tuesday 25 September 2012 17:27

That's fake. How can you forget someone's eye colour?

JerryThePenguin 4

Monday 22 September 2014 8:08

*high-pitched laughs* that is funny!

Bradley_Dillon 39

Monday 22 September 2014 23:45

My stomach doesn't like lettuce either...

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Top

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

agreeclassic 13 761

vote type 1 26 020

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

agreeclassic 54 702

vote type 1 3 834

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

agreeclassic 40 962

vote type 1 5 037

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

agreeclassic 29 016

vote type 1 4 136

Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML

agreeclassic 53 330

vote type 1 3 775

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

agreeclassic 66 860

vote type 1 3 555