Intimacy: Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed...

By waiting till marriage, she said - 10/06/2015 15:28 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

agreeclassic 36 212

vote type 1 2 527

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By married and hates - 19/12/2010 18:51 - United States

Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML

agreeclassic 38 406

vote type 1 5 646

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 02:11 - Israel

Today, the girl who I was in love with for almost seven years listed me on facebook as her "Brother." FML

agreeclassic 38 039

vote type 1 6 467

Well played

By fmfb - 07/06/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

agreeclassic 43 796

vote type 1 6 288

By Anonymous - 13/03/2012 23:12 - Canada

Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML

agreeclassic 29 194

vote type 1 8 718

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 18:32 - Lithuania - Prienai

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

agreeclassic 59 774

vote type 1 4 004

By Anonymous - 04/01/2009 21:43 - France

Today, on her Facebook profile, my ex erased all the pictures where we were together, added her new boyfriend to her friends, and changed her status to, "I'm so happy". FML

agreeclassic 25 342

vote type 1 6 797

By MTJY - 12/09/2011 04:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

agreeclassic 43 661

vote type 1 5 539

By Fabio - 29/07/2016 00:13 - Malta - Piet?

Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML

agreeclassic 8 992

vote type 1 20 047

By Anonymous - 08/05/2019 23:00

Today, my husband argued that it's not cheating if he's using his brother's Facebook account to talk to other women, because they think it's him. FML

agreeclassic 2 117

vote type 1 161

The nerve!

By Fuck you, Rachel - 19/10/2022 10:00

Today, my now-ex broke up with me after alleging that I cheated on her. I didn't do anything, for the record. When I told my sister about it, she showed me a screenshot of an Instagram story where my ex was tagged, two weeks before leaving me. My ex was actually making out with another dude. FML

agreeclassic 961

vote type 1 97

Welshite 39

Thursday 11 June 2015 0:17

I'd be more upset at your brother's betrayal. He had equal part in this too.

toaster87 19

Thursday 11 June 2015 0:20

Time to set your relation status to single and your siblings to none!

Comments

fantasyworld 37

Thursday 23 July 2015 1:18

They're both assholes.

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Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

agreeclassic 50 786

vote type 1 4 738

Today, the vet told me that my cat is too fat to be able to wipe her own ass. I had to go Walmart to purchase pet wipes to clean her butt. FML

agreeclassic 4 916

vote type 1 3 605

Today, I pointed out to my manager that I haven’t been paid for my first month's work. They told me my paperwork had been misplaced, so I hadn’t actually been hired yet. So I just worked a full month for free. Oh, and apparently they’re not legally obligated to pay me, so I’m not getting paid. FML

agreeclassic 2 492

vote type 1 190

Today, I told my mom my husband and I were considering having another baby. She said, "No!" about 30 times. Then later she texted me that she insists on no more kids. I guess I will never have that bonding moment with her. FML

agreeclassic 932

vote type 1 177

Today, I went to get coffee. While I was at the drive-thru window, I went to pay with my card but dropped it right out the window. It went under my car. FML

agreeclassic 830

vote type 1 179

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

agreeclassic 47 340

vote type 1 5 791

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Well played

The nerve!

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