Kids: Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me...

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

agreeclassic 5 207

vote type 1 612

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By Anonymous - 08/04/2017 12:00

Today, I was cleaning the litter box and found a large clump. I later found my 3-year-old peeing there instead of in the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 4 767

vote type 1 610

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

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Potty drama

By NeverEndingBathtime_ - 03/08/2017 20:00

Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML

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That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

agreeclassic 3 794

vote type 1 823

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

agreeclassic 2 969

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By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

agreeclassic 4 586

vote type 1 522

Potty

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

agreeclassic 12 314

vote type 1 6 530

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

agreeclassic 981

vote type 1 187

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

agreeclassic 1 131

vote type 1 297

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

agreeclassic 2 237

vote type 1 341

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 April 2017 0:24

That must have really pissed you off!

jtsmommy 11

Monday 17 April 2017 0:26

Been there, done that. Welcome two having two toddlers

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 April 2017 0:24

That must have really pissed you off!

bigred121970 10

Monday 17 April 2017 4:17

????

bigred121970 10

Monday 17 April 2017 4:17

It's better to be "Pissed Off" than "Pissed On"

jtsmommy 11

Monday 17 April 2017 0:26

Been there, done that. Welcome two having two toddlers

jtsmommy 11

Monday 17 April 2017 0:26

*to

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 April 2017 0:30

*Welcome too having Thieu toddlers. YWIA

Glowworm56 26

Monday 17 April 2017 1:30

Sounds like it was a piddle of a puddle to play in.

mattyiscool123 26

Monday 17 April 2017 3:46

Shut up

bigred121970 10

Monday 17 April 2017 4:16

Leave it up to the little kids to do something bigger kids would rather die than do.

pjsr 32

Monday 17 April 2017 4:18

You need to get a litter box in there

Bearsmomma 30

Monday 17 April 2017 10:13

That made me lol on a level unnecessary. Idk why. Very funny!

Argotdroom 21

Monday 17 April 2017 15:20

Two boys? Urine trouble!

RockPrincess26 16

Monday 17 April 2017 20:36

CinemaSins: "Kids." *ding*

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Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

agreeclassic 33 471

vote type 1 54 950

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

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Today, I’ve been such an idiot. I believed everything my boyfriend told me about his ex being a bitter baby mama, keeping the kids from him, weaponizing custody, etc. Then she showed me all the messages of him making BS excuses to not even try to see his kids. He hasn’t made a visit in a year. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 146

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

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Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

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