Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my...

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

agreeclassic 56 171

vote type 1 3 988

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By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 35 716

vote type 1 2 521

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

agreeclassic 1 601

vote type 1 128

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

agreeclassic 827

vote type 1 81

By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

agreeclassic 326

vote type 1 77

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

agreeclassic 61 840

vote type 1 5 387

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

agreeclassic 8 648

vote type 1 773

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

agreeclassic 6 969

vote type 1 1 143

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

agreeclassic 31 211

vote type 1 1 988

The passenger

By BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

agreeclassic 482

vote type 1 95

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

agreeclassic 39 478

vote type 1 2 652

Nutz101 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:07

I have to stop eating while reading FML's

jojimugo 20

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:13

If you swallow 8 a night, you should do yourself a favor and move out of the amazon river

Comments

cheer21moose 13

Monday 31 December 2012 10:01

Oh eww

mystery_of_me 1

Monday 25 February 2013 6:00

Oh my gosh. That is just awful. I'm so glad that I no longer have braces otherwise I would've been terrified to go to sleep tonight.

Kaylaxoo 6

Sunday 7 April 2013 6:18

FYL, OP. The same happened to me last week.

russianboss123 17

Monday 22 July 2013 21:07

Im going to ductape my mouth now when i go to sleep.

sarahadlina 14

Sunday 18 August 2013 6:39

Hey, on the bright side, at least it's dead...

JustNatalie 8

Wednesday 18 September 2013 16:58

I wouldn't even.. I would have died

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Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

agreeclassic 25 025

vote type 1 13 630

Today, I was forced to hire my boss’s niece. The kid failed out of college twice, but I could have forgiven her if she worked hard to learn, but she's so lazy and dumb, so dumb that if she shook her head I think I’d actually hear her single brain cell rattle like a rock in a box. FML

agreeclassic 528

vote type 1 132

Today, I found out why my coworkers never invite me anywhere. Apparently, I "made a face" when one of them used the N-word, and it makes them uncomfortable to be around me. FML

agreeclassic 20 871

vote type 1 2 131

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

agreeclassic 20 701

vote type 1 48 087

Today, my sugar daddy-turned-boyfriend can no longer support my lavish lifestyle and told me to get a job. Ever since he divorced his wife and kids for me, he has to pay a hefty child support and alimony for them. This is way more than I bargained for. Now I can’t break up with him or he’ll think I’m a gold digger. FML

agreeclassic 61

vote type 1 2 229

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

agreeclassic 61 251

vote type 1 45 534

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