Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon... - FML

By Kingspin - 30/03/2011 16:14 - Canada

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

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vote type 1 2 920

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Kingspin 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:12

...How would I explain the third degree burns and traces of bacon grease? And he ran off luckily.

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UTTU 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 18:55

Let him go to sleep hearing the sound of a 12 gauge.

underpaid011 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 19:25

open the door then splash the very hot bacon grease on the asshole. then say "pick that mother ******" and for good measure kick him square in the sack, then in the face and ribs. then call the cops. don't forget to say "i was terrified!! I thought the guy was going to break in and kill me!!". blame the face and rib injuries on him "falling down".

Comments

EpicJames24 18

Saturday 21 June 2014 17:37

I would've waited in front of the door for him to open it, pointed a gun at him and said, "can I help you?"

terrix7 13

Monday 1 June 2015 7:42

Waittt. You woke up and bacon was already cooking, yet someone was trying to pick your lock? Does someone live with you to cook the bacon? If so, why did you hear the guy trying to pick you up and your roommate didn't??

lucasjames22 8

Monday 17 July 2017 17:57

im confused. obviously op wasn't alone because someone was making bacon. so they call the cops or try to scare whoever's trying to break in.

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Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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