Love: Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully...

By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 21:29 - Denmark

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

agreeclassic 16 431

vote type 1 34 847

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By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

agreeclassic 40 596

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By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML

agreeclassic 27 580

vote type 1 25 188

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

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By chachi - 28/09/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

agreeclassic 23 543

vote type 1 3 246

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

agreeclassic 60 577

vote type 1 5 920

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

agreeclassic 38 697

vote type 1 4 566

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

agreeclassic 32 900

vote type 1 11 316

By Maggie - 18/03/2013 19:38 - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

agreeclassic 42 632

vote type 1 3 515

needleinmypants_fml 3

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:12

did you had a fun night? some ppl have animal fetishes. don't worry I respect it.

hiyourcute 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:17

There's no shame in puppy love

Comments

traze 7

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:19

Girl you to get out and find yourself a man seriously or you might find peps giving you weird looks.

daddyZHOM3 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:20

get some!

michaelm1290 23

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:21

Are you used to sleeping with gorilla juice heads that are as hairy as a dog?

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:25

I guess you love your dog. Nothing wrong with that. (:

hellokat1 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:28

Yea Op, don't feel bad. Dogs are the best :)

KristinaKreme 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:33

Says the cat. ;]

hellokat1 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:46

Even though my dp is of my cat, my dogs are always #1.

iRCassxD 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:28

Aw. [:

mrahhhhh 21

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:34

Looks like you're that dog's bitch.

agSWAAAAG 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:35

you say good morning to your dog....I don't see why that's so bad. at least your not waking up to some random man

bubblekitty 1

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:36

dogs have personalities too

enonymous 8

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:37

Your dog must not have seen how the other 10 guy snuck out of your bed after a one night stand.

oSaraho_fml 2

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:39

and what's wrong with that?

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Today, as the only female manager, I had to talk to a worker about her hygiene. I asked if she had the means and a place to shower. She rolled her eyes and said of course she did, but found daily bathing unnecessary, and that a couple times a month does her just fine. The whole staff would disagree. FML

agreeclassic 1 602

vote type 1 126

Today, a little girl locked all the stalls in the girls' bathroom where I work and crawled under the doors. I then had to crawl around on the bathroom floor in order to unlock the doors. FML

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vote type 1 1 281

Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML

agreeclassic 427

vote type 1 1 601

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vote type 1 662

Today, I had one of my biggest dance shows ever. After months of practice I had finally gotten the lead position. When I entered the stage and raised my arms my straps fell down and I flashed an audience of 5000. FML

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agreeclassic 570

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