Intimacy: Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet...

By idk ask freud - 04/07/2013 04:11 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

agreeclassic 50 778

vote type 1 9 920

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By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

agreeclassic 193 190

vote type 1 50 246

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

agreeclassic 59 730

vote type 1 9 339

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

agreeclassic 26 362

vote type 1 4 033

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

agreeclassic 42 071

vote type 1 9 052

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

agreeclassic 1 347

vote type 1 301

By hdat - 11/06/2009 17:51 - Canada

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

agreeclassic 72 965

vote type 1 16 221

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

agreeclassic 25 737

vote type 1 4 278

Two Scoops

By ice ice baby - 08/09/2019 07:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML

agreeclassic 1 818

vote type 1 331

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

agreeclassic 941

vote type 1 235

All I need to do…

By Dreamblocker - 28/06/2021 22:00

Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML

agreeclassic 1 113

vote type 1 207

buddy51 23

Thursday 4 July 2013 11:29

Still a better love story than Twilight!

Wizardo 33

Thursday 4 July 2013 13:23

"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to diss a Brie? I Cheddar the world and the Feta cheese. Everybody's looking for Stilton".

Comments

XxcaitanatorXx 12

Thursday 4 July 2013 18:25

it makes good queso though

NightHawk387 22

Thursday 4 July 2013 18:38

I think that is one of the best comments I've ever seen. Well done #23.

Alopez426 3

Thursday 4 July 2013 18:44

^^ Agree!

tazrichie 11

Thursday 4 July 2013 20:10

haha wtf

MrZsDad 19

Thursday 4 July 2013 21:09

Just imagine what a can of Cheeze Whiz will do or you :)

rikkidi 20

Thursday 4 July 2013 21:53

love your name

guci101 14

Thursday 4 July 2013 22:26

Well at least you enjoyed it

JonLee 8

Thursday 4 July 2013 22:46

Bacon

LeFrogDog 27

Thursday 4 July 2013 22:54

@23 that was gouda

Malicteal 21

Thursday 4 July 2013 22:56

To be fair, Velveeta cheese is delicious.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML

agreeclassic 5 895

vote type 1 20 235

Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML

agreeclassic 350

vote type 1 102

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking near a pond when we saw a drake forcefully mating with a duck. She burst into tears and demanded I stop them. When I told her no, that it’s just nature and thats how they breed, she dumped me for supporting and "enabling rape." FML

agreeclassic 2 232

vote type 1 734

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

agreeclassic 42 664

vote type 1 4 039

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

agreeclassic 36 893

vote type 1 5 250

Today, I was thinking again how I literally haven't had any real life friends for years. I know I don't interact with others much, especially recently, but why am I even ignored at school? Do I deserve this like people keep saying? I really like my online friends but why does everyone but me have someone IRL? FML

agreeclassic 290

vote type 1 113